Tag: sci-fi

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Avatar, Are The Sequels Really Needed

Posted on by jadedsteelereviews

Avatar: The Way Of The Water has hit theatres, twelve years after the first film was released, we’re expected to get not one more, no not two more, definitely not three more… five more Avatar movies!

Yes ladies and gentlemen five Avatar movies are being made, we have the first two done and dusted we just need the other three to wrap things up.

This brings me on to entire point of this post, are the sequels really needed.

No.

Avatar saw groundbreaking CGI, no one had ever seen CGI like it in 2009 and critics loved it, just look at the consensus on Rotten Tomatoes

“It might be more impressive on a technical level than as a piece of storytelling, but Avatar reaffirms James Cameron’s singular gift for imaginative, absorbing filmmaking”

The film was hailed as a new way to see CGI in movies, it was as I said groundbreaking, it did usher in 3D cinema (look how long that lasted)

3D cinema died a slow painful death, it was expensive to shoot in 3D and those glasses… expensive as well.

Now of course we still have 3D movies in the form of 4DX, yes while that is still relatively expensive it is definitely worth the price of admission.

But I digress, let’s get back to Avatar.

The way the first film ended, Jake as we remember became one with his avatar, the humans failed to achieve what they set out to do, which was as we know to mine unobtainium, the villain died, so he’s not coming back after getting shot by two arrows, he practically ceases to exist anymore.

They bought him back! Yes ladies and gentlemen Stephen Lang’s character is back, why you may ask, well your guess is as good as mine and that is… I don’t know.

He’s now an AI sending the humans back to Pandora! (Because it worked so well first time round for them didn’t it) seriously I don’t get it either but James “money bags” Cameron certainly gets it.

As I’ve stated before, the way the first film ended there was no need for a sequel, let alone five more.

The box office well let’s just say it was below expectations, that’s a big oh dear as they were hoping for big numbers, it’s tenth in the highest grossing movies of this year and Cameron came out and estimated that due to the films near record breaking budget, it would have to be in the top eight highest grossing films in history, and that’s just to break even.

So in answer to this question and that is are the sequels needed, the answer as I have stated is a simple resounding… no… they are not needed at all.

Anyway guys as always catch ya later 🙂

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Nope, Jordan Peele Knocks It Out Of The Park Again!

Posted on by jadedsteelereviews

Jordan Peele is slowly but surely becoming one of my all time favourite directors, from his debut smash Get Out (which won an Oscar for best original screenplay) to his sophomore smash Us.

His movies are like a breath of fresh air, sure we’ve seen plot lines like Get Out before and yes we have seen UFO movies before, but Peele adds his own twist to it, I think that’s why I like him, he brings something new to a plot we’ve seen time and time again and they all have these underlying themes to them.

With Us it was about the Tethered, and how we as humans are our own worst enemy, it’s clever, it’s… fantastic.

But alas we are not here talking about Us, nor are we here talking about Get Out (if you haven’t seen both of those then… stop reading! Go watch them, get out from under that rock) no we are here to talk about Nope.

Nope follows the story of brother and sister duo OJ and Emerald Haywood (trust me there’s a joke in there about the name OJ and it is actually really funny)

They along with their father played briefly by Keith David run a horse ranch where they enter said horses in to film and tv productions such as commercials, after their father mysteriously dies by having a nickel impale him through his eye they are running on hard times.

One horse reacts violently when a crew member working on a project startles the horse so they end up selling a few horses to rival ranch and theme park owner Ricky “Jupe” Park who owns the western themed ranch Jupiters Claim.

Jupe uses his theme park to exploit his tales of when he was a child actor, basically long story short Ricky was a child actor on a sitcom called Gordy’s Home, the titular chimpanzee Gordy gets startled when a helium balloon pops, he then goes and maims three of his co-stars.

That is one of the most disturbing scenes in this movie, you don’t see anything but you do see it from Ricky’s point of view (he hid underneath a table) but you hear everything, it’s grim, really grim.

Anyway, Jupe decides to buy OJ and Emeralds ranch off of them which obviously Em thinks is a great idea and tries to encourage OJ to accept the offer.

They then discover that a UFO has made itself at home above their ranch, horses disappear and electricity starts playing up, they soon discover the cause of the horses disappearances, the UFO is scooping them up and spitting out inorganic matter from the ship.

Wanting to cash in and attempt to get wealthy the Haywoods decide to document the UFO.

Jupe however decides to cash in a different way, by having a paying audience see the UFO in what I like to call “the most disturbing scene from a horror movie” the paying audience which includes children… oh yeah this movie goes there, they get sucked up in to this rather claustrophobic tube and are then dismembered, the Haywoods then get a rather bloody rainstorm (I’ll let your mind guess whose blood it is) I’ll give you a hint… it’s not horses blood.

I won’t say anymore about the plot but just know this, it gets better.

I honestly do think this is Jordan Peele’s best work, it is terrifying to say the least I was on the edge of my seat watching this, disturbing yes, funny… there were a few funny moments granted but I don’t think it was as funny as Get Out and Us, it was more dark… really dark and those two scenes I have mentioned above show just how truly disturbing this film is.

Would I see it again… yes. Yes I would, I enjoyed it, it was a really good film, as I said it has to be Peele’s best work by far it was amazing.

Definitely gets a solid 10/10 from me, it’s brilliant it’s everything you could ask for from a Jordan Peele movie, honestly you won’t be disappointed!

As always guys catch ya later 🙂

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Basket Case…. It’s Good But It’s Not Quite Carling

Posted on by jadedsteelereviews

I love cheesy 70s and 80s horror, films like Sleepaway Camp, you know them sort of movies, those films are good but their not up there with the big boys which makes them enjoyable, because their different they don’t have the same horror tropes we see in today’s horror movies, sure their gory and they have the same shock value but I love the cheesy visual effects, films like Altered States, great film but really bad visual effects, Eraserhead great David Lynch film but cheesy visual effects.

Basket Case falls in to that category I mean I enjoyed it, it was good, thanks to thedevilsdvdbin for suggesting this film, go check out their blog they review some pretty good movies, anyway Basket Case was enjoyable, the effects were sub par and the story line is your bog standard revenge plot, conjoined twins get separated at birth against their will, and plot to get back at the doctor that performed the operation.

What I mean it’s good but not quite Carling is that well, I did enjoy it I really did, but I thought that it was over really fast, the run time of around 90 minutes flies by, this is one of those movies where if your in a rush and your going out and you want a quick movie to watch then Basket Case is the type of movie, I mentioned David Lynch in the first paragraph well this film reminds you of a David Lynch type movie, I’m guessing that the Basket Case’s director drew some sort of inspiration from the Blue Velvet director (that’s another brilliant film definitely check that out)

I give Basket Case a solid 8/10 it’s great just over really really quick in my opinion, again thanks to thedevilsdvdbin for suggesting this to me, this is going on my favourite films of all time list but as always guys catch ya later 🙂

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What The What????

Posted on by jadedsteelereviews

Most of you on here know my distaste for Eli Roth’s movies basically for those of you who don’t know Eli Roth’s movies they are basically very very disgusting, oh and very very gory as well, I’ve said in many other reviews on here that I can take gore, but Eli Roth’s movies are that of a level that I really cannot tolerate, basically my gag reflex kicks in and I switch off around the forty minute mark.

That being said I watched a few trailers recently and one came up for a film called The House With A Clock In It’s Walls, the film follows a ten year old boy called Lewis (played by Owen Viccario) he goes and stays with his uncle (played by Jack Black) and also his neighbour (played by Cate Blanchett)

*record scratch* yes you heard me… no your hearing does not need to be tested I did in fact say Jack Black and Cate Blanchett, now where was I *furiously looks through notes* ah yes.

Lewis unleashes the undead on a small sleepy town and discovers the truth of why the house has a clock in its walls. Now your now probably wondering what in gods name has this got to do with Eli Roth, oh sorry I should add it’s being distributed by Amblin, you know, that Stephen Spielberg company who made E.T and Jurassic Park yeah them.

Right what I was going to say was Eli Roth is directing it.

No once again your hearing doesn’t need testing yes you heard me correctly Eli Roth is directing a children’s movie…. I’ll say it again…. Eli Roth is directing a children’s movie.

After hearing this I was bemused, I was shocked and I was like wait what? The guy who directed Cabin Fever and Hostel and The Green Inferno is directing a children’s movie, so watching the trailer I thought right here we go the goryness is coming any minute….. now! Any minute now! But alas there is no gore, this actually looks really good it’s like The Spiderwick Chronicles and Goosebumps had unprotected coitus and produced this movie.

The film hits cinemas in September and your damn well right I’ll be there. My god… I’m actually looking forward to seeing an Eli Roth movie…. wow 2018 is proving to be a really really weird year, anyway guys catch ya later 🙂

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Ready Player One, One Of The Greatest Films I Have Seen At The Cinema Ever!

Posted on by jadedsteelereviews

That’s a pretty bold statement to make if I do say so myself, but it’s true Ready Player One is possibly one of Spielberg’s best work yet, again another pretty bold statement to make, but it’s decidedly true.

Based on the book by Ernest Cline Ready Player One follows the story of Wade Watts, a teenage boy living in Ohio in the near future, the town he lives in is chock full of trailers piled high on top of one another, to escape the real world people use virtual reality headsets to go to a place called The Oasis, when the creator of The Oasis dies, he sets out a challenge to all Oasis players… find three keys, simple enough but no other player has found the three keys.

The first key is hidden in the form of a massive race through a simulated New York City, cue the first lot of hidden Easter eggs for you guys to find, you have The Delorean which Wade uses in the race, the light motorcycle from Tron and of course King Kong and the T Rex from Jurassic Park… yeah where else are you gonna see King Kong and the T Rex in the same movie.

Basically the whole movie is chock full of Easter eggs for you to hunt and find, there’s one part halfway through the film the characters go through a simulation of the Stanley Kubrick movie The Shining…. uh huh yep original soundtrack as well including the song that plays at the end of The Shining. Ready Player One is one of the greatest times I had at the cinema, everybody was pointing at the screen recognising every Easter egg, oh shout out to the guy who ruined part of the film by standing up and yelling “oh hell no their in The Shining, screw this shit” and then proceeded to run out of the cinema flailing his arms about like a headless chicken, hats off to you dude.

Do yourself a favour go and watch Ready Player One it’s possibly the most fun you’ll have watching a film, oh and read the book as well, there’s so many more Easter eggs in the book as well, plus there’s rumours of a sequel as well with even more Easter eggs packed in too. Ready Player One gets a 10/10 from me, anyway guys until next time catch ya later.

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A Quiet Place… Definitely One Of The Most Scariest Movies In Recent Time

Posted on by jadedsteelereviews

Yep… it’s true… I went there, this really is one of the most scariest films in recent memory, directed by John Krasinski and starring John Krasinski, Emily Blunt, Millicent Simmonds and Noah Jupe.

The film follows the Abbott family trying to stay silent in a post apocalyptic world where blind creatures who are attracted by sound stalk and attack them. Now when I say sound I mean every single sound known to man these creatures can hear, this is what makes the film so terrifying, you are holding your breath every time a character moves or even drops something, for instance there’s a scene in the opening act, the family are in a pharmacy gathering medicine for the second youngest Marcus played by Noah Jupe, who looks like he has the flu, while gathering supplies the sister played by Millicent Simmonds, reaches for a toy for her younger brother Beau played by Cade Woodward, while reaching for the toy it slips from the shelf and narrowly misses hitting the floor.

You’ve seen this part in the trailer where their on the bridge and Beau starts playing with the toy, he is then attacked by the creatures or one of them to be precise, right now I did go and see this at the cinema which really is recommended, it’s a silent horror movie with only a little dialogue between the characters, after all they all communicate in sign language, the reason I’m telling you to go see it in the cinema is because you hear everything!!! And I mean everything!!! I did the fatal mistake of bringing a pack of Revels (their like a mish mash of different types of chocolate) now I tried okay I tried to open it as quietly and I would like to apologise to my local cinema goers who were sadly in that screen with me and my pack of noisy Revels.

Let me just say the almighty death stares cometh when your in the cinema if you cough death stares, you move death stares, you even whisper boom you guessed it death stares, coming out of the cinema when the film had finished and everyone was silent, one guy put his rubbish in the bin and it made a loud rustling noise, everyone looked round and yep you pretty much guessed it, death stares one guy yelled out “well done dude smooth, you’ve killed us all”

I came home put my keys in the door as silently as I could and walked through my house as silently as I could… this film ruined me mentally, as I’m typing this now I’m trying to be as silent as I can.

A quiet place is absolutely terrifying to say the least, the acting is amazing, the plot is amazing, to be fair John Krasinski is possibly one to watch out for with horror movies because this is one of the best films I have seen at the cinema this year by far final rating 10/10 it’s scary enough said, but as always guys until next time catch ya later 🙂

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The Titan… Plot Holes Aplenty Fill This Bog Standard Body Horror Sci Fi Whatever This Film Was Meant To Be

Posted on by jadedsteelereviews

This is one of the films where you have to laugh because of how predictable it is, also with the amount of plot holes this film has, the film stars Sam Worthington in an Katherine forgetful role, Taylor Schilling plays his wife and rising star child actor Noah Jupe plays their son.

Sam Worthington plays Rick Janssen who was previously a war pilot in the conflict in Syria, he is chosen by Professor Martin played by Tom Wilkinson, basically scientists have found a moon on Saturn called Titan, they believe that humans can adapt and procreate on this moon by undergoing a series of changes to turn them in to a meta human, he undergoes the first part of treatment then his wife starts noticing several changes, for instance he can hold his breathe underwater for forty minutes, and can swim faster than any other human.

She also finds that his veins are turning black, she starts becoming suspicious of the treatment her husband is receiving and starts investigating. Right I’m stopping the plot details there because not a lot happens a few people here and there die and Rick becomes a meta human and tries to kill his family and the guys that treated him.

Right, now what was wrong with this movie, oh boy where to begin number uno, Titan… we know that it’s a moon on Saturn we learn about the gasses it has on the planet, that’s it… that’s all we learn about Titan, secondly Ricks wife basically tries to stop the scientists from treating Rick, basically trying to halt the treatment and to stop them from sending him to Titan… only when the end of the film comes oh guess whose on Titan… yep you guessed it Rick! In the end he does go to Titan, after all his wife tried to do she still gave the all clear to let him go.

Which brings me on to my third point… why the hell did she slip saline inject him with it so he could escape once he became the meta human, cried when the guards tried to take him away to send to Titan only to then send him up there anyway! This film was abysmal I mean it was everything that’s wrong with a sci-fi film these days Jesus Christ on a bike we never hear from Titan again nor do we get any mention of why Titan might be inhabitable.

Seriously give this film a miss, the acting is appalling, Sam Worthington is really really bad in this movie as is the actress who plays his wife, even Tom Wilkinson was awful, now don’t get me wrong I’ve seen the kid act in a few other films most recently Wonder and Suburbicon but even he is not that great, and I’m prone to praise child actors but good god my ten year old brother could act better than some of these people in this film… final rating 0/10 the acting and the plot are terrible, let me tell you I was happy when the credits rolled excelsior! I cried thank god that’s over as I turned to my sister who was laughing at the ridiculousness of what we watched.

But anyway guys until next time I will catch ya later my dudes!!!!

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Films That Dramatically, Epically Failed In 2017

Posted on by jadedsteelereviews

2017 in my opinion was a great year for movies, we had adaptions, sequels and more reboots than you can shake a bucket of popcorn at, but that doesn’t mean that we’ve had some films that have flopped immensely this year, from dismal summer blockbusters to even more dismal winter openings, 2017 has had its fair share of epic flops, today we look back at just some of those films.

TRANSFORMERS: THE LAST KNIGT

I loved the Transformers films when they came out before the 2010s but since then they have gotten more and more terrible, I had the displeasure of seeing this at the cinema back in the summer this year, Michael Bay really needs to get back in track with making original films like his Armageddon and Bad Boys days, but hey ho he’s probably going through a really bad dry spell, the film lost around 40 million in the US box office but succeeded overseas, it’s a shame because Anthony Hopkins was wasted on this film, such a great actor in such a horrible film.

GEOSTORM

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…. that’s what I have to say nothing else to it, okay you ready for the plot because believe me it’s laughable, you ready here we go… the government have created satellites for one purpose hahahahahaha you won’t believe what for, come closer I’ll tell ya… no seriously come closer to your screen *whispers… they use the satellites to control the weather by sending little pods from space down to earth…. yep oh and guess who saves the day… none other than Scotland’s very own action movie superhero who always saves the day, Gerard Butler…

The film earned an abysmal 13 percent on Rotten Tomatoes, and for good reason to, the film was held back for various reshoots, when Jerry Bruckheimer came aboard, but alas he couldn’t save the film from scathing early reviews by the general public, you would think a film like that would’ve been pulled from release, but no they went ahead with the reshoots, and released it this year in October, the film performed miserably at the box office raking in a small amount of money.

BLADE RUNNER

“But Blade Runner was praised by critics” “it was a box office success” I hear you cry, but just like it’s predecessor it flopped dramatically, lack of marketing for this film was the main cause, plus it’s runtime clocking in at 163 minutes that’s nearly 3 hours, personally I liked it, it followed the original Blade Runner to a T but audiences were mostly at the cinema watching other movies rather than this one, but still, the original Blade Runner fans enjoyed.

POWER RANGERS

I was really looking forward to this early this year and I was so let down by how awful this movie was, Power Rangers was and still is my childhood, and swarms of nostalgia flowed through me during the trailers, it looked epic, however the pacing was terrible they spent so much time getting to know the characters rather than focus on the Power Rangers, they don’t even get in to their uniform until there’s 20 minutes of the film left, the film suffered massive blows nationwide in America and overseas and earned a dismal low rating on Rotten Tomatoes, looks like we won’t be getting the sequel to this bomb any time soon.

THE MUMMY

I love a good Tom Cruise film, however The Mummy was pretty much his worst, the film once again like Power Rangers it earned terrible reviews by critics, the film was supposed to launch a Dark Universe franchise but sadly poor reviews and a dismal box office run made the franchise nothing but an afterthought, so longtime Mummy fans will have to wait a teensy bit longer to see a franchise dawn from this.

GHOSTS IN THE SHELL

Oh boy this was a doozy, based on the critically acclaimed anime of the same name Ghosts In The Shell was surrounded by controversy right from the get go, mainly for the “whitewash” casting, the film starred Scarlett Johansson and earned really embarrassing reviews with critics, anime fans and movie goers started saying things about the casting mainly it’s lack of Japanese stars, since it’s well based off of an anime made in Japan.

MOTHER!

Darren Aronofsky, possibly one of Hollywoods underrated directors in my opinion, his visually stunning film The Fountain and his biblical epic Noah didn’t do well at the box office mainly because people didn’t like the religious themes, Mother! Done exactly the same thing and went all biblical on your ass, sadly a 60% rating on rotten tomatoes and poor box office sales sadly let mother slip in to the rank of box office bomb considering the cast of Jennifer Lawrence and Javier Bardem.

So as you can see there have been some great movies this year and some major flops so with that theblakentorreviews would like to say a massive merry Christmas and here’s to a great 2018 but until next time guys catch ya later 🙂

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Justice League: It’s Good But It’s Not Quite Carling

Posted on by jadedsteelereviews

It’s okay, I myself am a DC fan but I’m more of a Marvel fanboy to be quite honest with you, but nonetheless the film was okay even if you get past the corny CGI fight scenes.

I was quite looking forward to this movie and like Suicide Squad I built it up and built it up, when I went to see it I was severely disappointed, it was such a letdown Justice League is the same, I built it up and when went to see it I was again severely disappointed, the film is long and dull the CGI is terrible and the plot is awful, I love Zach Snyder, go watch Watchmen that’s a great film, but my god this is possibly one of the films that I dislike of his, Batman vs Superman was great sure it had its flaws but it was great.

The acting was great, I forgot to mention that, the guy who plays The Flash was hilarious and the guy who played Aquaman was good as well, I’m still having second thoughts about Ben Affleck and Batman though, I can’t get used to it, no one can ever replace Christian Bale as Batman, but hey ho a new actor comes and goes all the time, I can’t exactly remember the plot because I was that bored, I was more focused on the awful CGI, anyway Justice League, it’s good but it’s not quite Carling if you get my drift, I mean it’s good but not that good I’ll give Justice League a 3/10 it’s okay but not the best, but until next time guys catch ya later 🙂

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Triangle………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Posted on by jadedsteelereviews

How……. What……….. what………… Triangle.

I…. I don’t even know where to begin with this film, even now as I type this I’m like what!!?? Huh what just happened. I’m going to try and explain the plot as I go while it’s still fresh in my mind, right so there’s a woman called jess who has an autistic son, now she goes on a yacht trip with a few friends, they encounter a storm and come across a cruise ship. Okay now this is where you are going to get lost so please try and follow okay, okay good.

So we open up on Jess cleaning up and saying to her son who is clearly distressed crying his eyes out, Jess tells him it’s a bad dream and to forget what happened, she then puts a suitcase in to the car and “drives” to the harbour, the air quotes will make sense trust me that’s not a typo. So off she goes to the harbour and boards the yacht, while they get caught in a storm and hear a “distress signal” again air quotes not a typo, so after the storm they come across a cruise ship. Oh did I mention about the doorbell ringing, no? Well the doorbell rings at Jess’s home she answers and no one is there.

They board the boat after seeing someone on board, remember this, oh remember the opening scene as well just pay really good attention, anyway they find no one on board, as they search the boat they come across Jess’s keys, confused they start hearing noises such as footsteps, now a guy called Victor checks out the noises, the rest of the group join in the theatre, Jess hangs back as Victor comes back with blood pouring from his head, angry he tries to strangle Jess, she then kills Victor, after hearing a gunshot she runs to the theatre to see one of the group has been shot, then suddenly a stranger in a burlap mask shoots the reaming group, Jess is still alive and goes on the run, she comes across the burlap person and a fight ensues, Jess wins, only for the burlap stranger to say “they will return and when they do kill them”

All of a sudden we here cries for help and then we meet our characters as they were when their yacht got overturned in the storm… remember when they saw someone on the boat… well that was Jess… you still with me clause let me tell you we haven’t even gotten started yet. So Jess and her gang from the yacht board the boat again, Jess who… see I can’t even explain it in words, it’s so confusing. Basically Victor was injured by Jess, that Jess was the one whose keys were found, there’s thing thing about a loop, and to end it Jess must kill the people who we see die in the first half.

Now she ends up completing the loop and turns out she was the one who was in the burlap sack, she falls over board and wakes up ashore on a beach, she runs home to her son, but wait it turns out that we are back in the opening scene… are still with me here!!!!! My god please let me know if you are still following me… anyway Jess goes and kills the Jess we saw in the opening scene, it turns out that Jess is the one who said to her son it’s just a bad dream…. thus leading to her dropping the suitcase of previous Jess’s body in to her car, now she drives with her son in the car, while driving they hit a seagull, trust me the seagull is pivotal at this moment!! Just bear with me people I’m trying!!! Jess dumps the seagull over in to the sand thus we see a whole dead pile of seagulls indicating that Jess is still in a loop, anyway off they go then they have a crash both Jess and her son die, then we see yet another Jess!!!!!!!!! who says to a cab driver drop me off at the harbour, to which we see the very start of the movie where Jess boards the boat!!!!!

*out of breath breathing…. my god.

This film… oh god this film was…. was…. so confusing, it makes inception look like a walk in the park… oh boy… please comment if this confused you, final rating 10/10 it’s amazing it’s confusing, it’s a wild ride let me tell you, anyway guys until next time catch ya later 🙂

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