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The Day After… Unsettling, Depressing and Quite Frankly Really Thought Provoking

Posted on by jadedsteelereviews

“I do not know with what weapons world war three will be fought, but world war four will be fought sticks and stones” a famous quote said in 1949 by Albert Einstein, “we cannot have another world war, war is the wrong term, we should ban the word World War Three and say instead apocalypse or holocaust” Golo Mann a famous German historian.

The threat of nuclear war is terrifying in anyone’s eyes, a child’s eyes an old mans even little children like toddlers who watch the news with their parents and ask them questions like “what is a nuclear bomb” my eleven year old brother come up to me and said how deadly is a nuclear bomb, I couldn’t bring myself to tell him that if one fell right here where we live it wouldn’t just be catastrophic no, it would deadly, how can you say that to an eleven year old.

The Day After is possibly one of the most important TV movies of the 1980s so much so that broadcasters had to warn viewers because of the depiction of what nuclear bomb can do to a human being (don’t google whatever you do) the film is 126 minutes long and by the time it’s ended your sitting there in silence as the credits roll wondering “good god almighty”

The detail that has gone in to this movie is amazing, however the depiction of the nuclear bombs detonating over Kansas is deeply unsettling, we see the elderly burn and die why my god we even see children be exposed to the nuclear bomb, the final scene is heartbreaking and gut wrenching as one of the characters sends out an emergency distress call by saying “is there anybody out there, anyone at all” we’re then met with static and the film cuts to black.

Like I said The Day After is one of the most important movies out there today, especially in today’s day and age where America has a president who antagonises a ruthless North Korean dictator by stating that his nuclear launch button is bigger than his, scary times indeed.

The Day After gets a 10/10 for its relatively realistic depiction of how a nuclear fallout looks, oh little disclaimer don’t get attached to a character because there is quite a lot of unexpected deaths you’ve been warned.

Give this film a watch but for the love of god don’t watch this with children present for god sake, as always guys until next time catch ya later 🙂

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Mom And Dad, Murder… Children In Peril and Nicholas Cage Belting Out The Hokey Cokey

Posted on by jadedsteelereviews

He certainly does, I’m not making that up he generally while he’s attempting to kill his children he belts out a rendition of the Hokey Cokey in traditional Nic Cage fashion… oh yeah the film, on with the review!

Mom and Dad stars well Nicholas Cage, Selma Blair, Zackary Arthur and Anne Winters as your typical bog standard suburban family, oh sorry might I add if you feel uneasy about child killing then please stop reading, I’m being serious just stop reading, oh you wanna read on? Well don’t say I didn’t warn ya.

So a mysterious static signal happens and all of a sudden thousands of parents kill their children, think Cell meets Cooties so anyway Selma Blair and Nic Cage attempt to kill their children played by Zackary Arthur and Anne Winters, the children have to attempt to stop their murdering psychopathic parents from doing so.

That’s pretty much it really, now let’s talk about the acting, you know full well what I’m on about yes I’m on about Nic Cage belting out the Hokey Cokey, that scene was the pinnacle highlight for me, I watched that scene for the first time and thought yep, that’s definitely sold it for me. The acting by Selma Blair though it’s pretty damn impressive as well but the real stars of the movie are the children.

They are so believable in this flick, points to them for sure, the older sister is good as is the little boy however, I do think they overdid with the child killing, I mean we see a fucking nine year old little girl get mercilessly wrecked by a meat tenderiser, yep… that happens, we also see a preteen get stabbed by some car keys by his own mother, yep again that happens, the film is billed as a black comedy and I whole heartedly support that statement.

The film has its fair share of gore but then the characters will throw in a witty one liner and you find yourself laughing your ass off, so Mom And Dad is a gory fucking hilarious movie trust me Nicholas Cage’s performance has to be witnessed I’m not making this shit up when I say overacting, I give Mom And Dad a 9/10 it’s brilliant it’s gory and damn hilarious too but as always guys until next time catch ya later 🙂

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Basket Case…. It’s Good But It’s Not Quite Carling

Posted on by jadedsteelereviews

I love cheesy 70s and 80s horror, films like Sleepaway Camp, you know them sort of movies, those films are good but their not up there with the big boys which makes them enjoyable, because their different they don’t have the same horror tropes we see in today’s horror movies, sure their gory and they have the same shock value but I love the cheesy visual effects, films like Altered States, great film but really bad visual effects, Eraserhead great David Lynch film but cheesy visual effects.

Basket Case falls in to that category I mean I enjoyed it, it was good, thanks to thedevilsdvdbin for suggesting this film, go check out their blog they review some pretty good movies, anyway Basket Case was enjoyable, the effects were sub par and the story line is your bog standard revenge plot, conjoined twins get separated at birth against their will, and plot to get back at the doctor that performed the operation.

What I mean it’s good but not quite Carling is that well, I did enjoy it I really did, but I thought that it was over really fast, the run time of around 90 minutes flies by, this is one of those movies where if your in a rush and your going out and you want a quick movie to watch then Basket Case is the type of movie, I mentioned David Lynch in the first paragraph well this film reminds you of a David Lynch type movie, I’m guessing that the Basket Case’s director drew some sort of inspiration from the Blue Velvet director (that’s another brilliant film definitely check that out)

I give Basket Case a solid 8/10 it’s great just over really really quick in my opinion, again thanks to thedevilsdvdbin for suggesting this to me, this is going on my favourite films of all time list but as always guys catch ya later 🙂

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What The What????

Posted on by jadedsteelereviews

Most of you on here know my distaste for Eli Roth’s movies basically for those of you who don’t know Eli Roth’s movies they are basically very very disgusting, oh and very very gory as well, I’ve said in many other reviews on here that I can take gore, but Eli Roth’s movies are that of a level that I really cannot tolerate, basically my gag reflex kicks in and I switch off around the forty minute mark.

That being said I watched a few trailers recently and one came up for a film called The House With A Clock In It’s Walls, the film follows a ten year old boy called Lewis (played by Owen Viccario) he goes and stays with his uncle (played by Jack Black) and also his neighbour (played by Cate Blanchett)

*record scratch* yes you heard me… no your hearing does not need to be tested I did in fact say Jack Black and Cate Blanchett, now where was I *furiously looks through notes* ah yes.

Lewis unleashes the undead on a small sleepy town and discovers the truth of why the house has a clock in its walls. Now your now probably wondering what in gods name has this got to do with Eli Roth, oh sorry I should add it’s being distributed by Amblin, you know, that Stephen Spielberg company who made E.T and Jurassic Park yeah them.

Right what I was going to say was Eli Roth is directing it.

No once again your hearing doesn’t need testing yes you heard me correctly Eli Roth is directing a children’s movie…. I’ll say it again…. Eli Roth is directing a children’s movie.

After hearing this I was bemused, I was shocked and I was like wait what? The guy who directed Cabin Fever and Hostel and The Green Inferno is directing a children’s movie, so watching the trailer I thought right here we go the goryness is coming any minute….. now! Any minute now! But alas there is no gore, this actually looks really good it’s like The Spiderwick Chronicles and Goosebumps had unprotected coitus and produced this movie.

The film hits cinemas in September and your damn well right I’ll be there. My god… I’m actually looking forward to seeing an Eli Roth movie…. wow 2018 is proving to be a really really weird year, anyway guys catch ya later 🙂

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Happiness…. One Of The Most Uncomfortable Movies I Have Seen In My Life!!!

Posted on by jadedsteelereviews

Okay remember when I reviewed Apt Pupil? I said that I had to switch it off after half hour? Yeah well, there’s a new film, and it’s ironically called Happiness… this film is far from it, it’s billed as a black comedy! Really, I admit I have a dark sense of humour but woah nelly this humour was too dark for me!

Happiness follows several stories, but there’s one story in particular that stays with you until the friggin credits roll! Basically it follows a dad and his son (sounds jolly and happy) but the dad has these “sexual desires” basically he has a creepy and down right perverted obsession with this one kid in his sons class, if you get uncomfortable with what I’m about to tell you then please stop reading.

The dad drugs this poor innocent kid while he’s sleeping over and then proceeds to… rape him…. yeah…. that film goes there. Oh did I mention the dad is a pedophile… no oh well he’s a pedophile, he then visits this one kid while his wife thinks he’s at a PTA meeting, he visits this kid whose home alone as his parents are in Europe, and you guessed it he….. rapes this child too…. the kid ends up in hospital and they find he’s been sexually abused, the father confesses this to his eleven year old son to which the son replies “would you ever fuck me” now any normal parent would say “hell no son you are family I would never do that to you ever!” Well the dad replies no, simple answer only to reply “I would jack off to you instead”

What the fuck!!!!! who writes that stuff… Happiness is so bloody uncomfortable it’s actually hard to sit through in some places, it wasn’t enjoyable at all like I said I have a dark sense of humour but fuck me this was too dark.

I give this film 2/10 it’s dark it’s uncomfortable but the way the film is shot is amazing, but as always guys until next time catch ya later! 🙂

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Amityville Horror House

Posted on by jadedsteelereviews

Not a review but more of a history-cum-unsolved crime post, and it’s an interesting one.

Now for those of you who don’t know about the Amityville house let me tell you, basically you had the DeFeo family that consisted of five members, one of them was Ronald Defeo Jr. he went on a murdering spree and killed all of his family. He shot them with a .35 Marlin Rifle.

This is a Marlin 35 caliber rifle, this is the weapon (not the one pictured) that Ronald Defeo shot his family with. While investigating police discovered something that would soon be puzzling, the family showed no sign of struggle nor were there any sign of poisoning in their system, even the neighbours never heard the gun shots what’s even more puzzling to me is how bloody close the neighbours houses were as seen herelook how close the neighbours houses are, 112 Ocean Avenue is in the middle, what’s even more baffling is the only noise the neighbours heard was the family dog barking.

Baffling isn’t it, but wait there’s more baffling evidence, even the family never heard the gunshots. I’m going to attach a link to a YouTube video that I want you guys to see the video in question is the rifle, just forward it a bit and then you’ll hear the sheer noise of this rifle, watch it and ask yourself… how in gods name did the family/neighbours not even hear the gunshots from this powerful gun https://youtu.be/lGG6n4UGRGY

Judging by the sound it’s amazing that no one heard this at all just the dog barking. I would love to hear your guys thoughts on this and your opinions on this absolutely baffling unsolved mystery. But anyway guys until next time catch ya later

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Only The Brave, One Of The Most Heartbreaking Movies About Real Life Heroes

Posted on by jadedsteelereviews

I have the utmost respect for firefighters, how they risk their lives day in day out saving lives and protecting people, Only The Brave follows firefighters who risk their lives tackling the most brutal and devastating forest fires in Arizona, it follows the Granite Mountain Hot Shots, who tackle those fires head on.

Never have I cried at a film before, tell a lie Lone Survivor cried like a baby, but this, this is different, after a visit to a fire station last week with the cub scouts I volunteer at it got me thinking of one of my favourite all time films Backdraft, so I googled firefighting movies and Only The Brave came up, it came out last year and wasn’t really on my watch list, I watched it this weekend and this film wastes no time with its story.

Right at the end of the film we meet the tragic fire at Yarnell, this was soon to become one of the most heartbreaking scenes I have ever witnessed in a film, but first let me tell you who the Granite Mountain Hot Shots were, they were a small group of twenty firefighters who tackled forest fires in the Arizona region, they put their lives on the line to save villages, towns and civilians the tragedy at Yarnell claimed the lives of all but one of the firefighters, 19 sadly lost their lives at that fire.

At the end of the film we see a little fact, it was the worst loss of life since 9/11 we then see the real heroes and the people who played them, along with pictures of them and their families. This is where I lost it, I broke down and I bawled my eyes out, I honestly think that those brave and courageous men are heroes, no scrap that I don’t think I know that their heroes and the people of Arizona do too.

My heart goes out to the families of those brave and courageous men, I give Only The Brave a well deserved 100% until next time catch ya later

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Ready Player One, One Of The Greatest Films I Have Seen At The Cinema Ever!

Posted on by jadedsteelereviews

That’s a pretty bold statement to make if I do say so myself, but it’s true Ready Player One is possibly one of Spielberg’s best work yet, again another pretty bold statement to make, but it’s decidedly true.

Based on the book by Ernest Cline Ready Player One follows the story of Wade Watts, a teenage boy living in Ohio in the near future, the town he lives in is chock full of trailers piled high on top of one another, to escape the real world people use virtual reality headsets to go to a place called The Oasis, when the creator of The Oasis dies, he sets out a challenge to all Oasis players… find three keys, simple enough but no other player has found the three keys.

The first key is hidden in the form of a massive race through a simulated New York City, cue the first lot of hidden Easter eggs for you guys to find, you have The Delorean which Wade uses in the race, the light motorcycle from Tron and of course King Kong and the T Rex from Jurassic Park… yeah where else are you gonna see King Kong and the T Rex in the same movie.

Basically the whole movie is chock full of Easter eggs for you to hunt and find, there’s one part halfway through the film the characters go through a simulation of the Stanley Kubrick movie The Shining…. uh huh yep original soundtrack as well including the song that plays at the end of The Shining. Ready Player One is one of the greatest times I had at the cinema, everybody was pointing at the screen recognising every Easter egg, oh shout out to the guy who ruined part of the film by standing up and yelling “oh hell no their in The Shining, screw this shit” and then proceeded to run out of the cinema flailing his arms about like a headless chicken, hats off to you dude.

Do yourself a favour go and watch Ready Player One it’s possibly the most fun you’ll have watching a film, oh and read the book as well, there’s so many more Easter eggs in the book as well, plus there’s rumours of a sequel as well with even more Easter eggs packed in too. Ready Player One gets a 10/10 from me, anyway guys until next time catch ya later.

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A Quiet Place… Definitely One Of The Most Scariest Movies In Recent Time

Posted on by jadedsteelereviews

Yep… it’s true… I went there, this really is one of the most scariest films in recent memory, directed by John Krasinski and starring John Krasinski, Emily Blunt, Millicent Simmonds and Noah Jupe.

The film follows the Abbott family trying to stay silent in a post apocalyptic world where blind creatures who are attracted by sound stalk and attack them. Now when I say sound I mean every single sound known to man these creatures can hear, this is what makes the film so terrifying, you are holding your breath every time a character moves or even drops something, for instance there’s a scene in the opening act, the family are in a pharmacy gathering medicine for the second youngest Marcus played by Noah Jupe, who looks like he has the flu, while gathering supplies the sister played by Millicent Simmonds, reaches for a toy for her younger brother Beau played by Cade Woodward, while reaching for the toy it slips from the shelf and narrowly misses hitting the floor.

You’ve seen this part in the trailer where their on the bridge and Beau starts playing with the toy, he is then attacked by the creatures or one of them to be precise, right now I did go and see this at the cinema which really is recommended, it’s a silent horror movie with only a little dialogue between the characters, after all they all communicate in sign language, the reason I’m telling you to go see it in the cinema is because you hear everything!!! And I mean everything!!! I did the fatal mistake of bringing a pack of Revels (their like a mish mash of different types of chocolate) now I tried okay I tried to open it as quietly and I would like to apologise to my local cinema goers who were sadly in that screen with me and my pack of noisy Revels.

Let me just say the almighty death stares cometh when your in the cinema if you cough death stares, you move death stares, you even whisper boom you guessed it death stares, coming out of the cinema when the film had finished and everyone was silent, one guy put his rubbish in the bin and it made a loud rustling noise, everyone looked round and yep you pretty much guessed it, death stares one guy yelled out “well done dude smooth, you’ve killed us all”

I came home put my keys in the door as silently as I could and walked through my house as silently as I could… this film ruined me mentally, as I’m typing this now I’m trying to be as silent as I can.

A quiet place is absolutely terrifying to say the least, the acting is amazing, the plot is amazing, to be fair John Krasinski is possibly one to watch out for with horror movies because this is one of the best films I have seen at the cinema this year by far final rating 10/10 it’s scary enough said, but as always guys until next time catch ya later 🙂

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The Titan… Plot Holes Aplenty Fill This Bog Standard Body Horror Sci Fi Whatever This Film Was Meant To Be

Posted on by jadedsteelereviews

This is one of the films where you have to laugh because of how predictable it is, also with the amount of plot holes this film has, the film stars Sam Worthington in an Katherine forgetful role, Taylor Schilling plays his wife and rising star child actor Noah Jupe plays their son.

Sam Worthington plays Rick Janssen who was previously a war pilot in the conflict in Syria, he is chosen by Professor Martin played by Tom Wilkinson, basically scientists have found a moon on Saturn called Titan, they believe that humans can adapt and procreate on this moon by undergoing a series of changes to turn them in to a meta human, he undergoes the first part of treatment then his wife starts noticing several changes, for instance he can hold his breathe underwater for forty minutes, and can swim faster than any other human.

She also finds that his veins are turning black, she starts becoming suspicious of the treatment her husband is receiving and starts investigating. Right I’m stopping the plot details there because not a lot happens a few people here and there die and Rick becomes a meta human and tries to kill his family and the guys that treated him.

Right, now what was wrong with this movie, oh boy where to begin number uno, Titan… we know that it’s a moon on Saturn we learn about the gasses it has on the planet, that’s it… that’s all we learn about Titan, secondly Ricks wife basically tries to stop the scientists from treating Rick, basically trying to halt the treatment and to stop them from sending him to Titan… only when the end of the film comes oh guess whose on Titan… yep you guessed it Rick! In the end he does go to Titan, after all his wife tried to do she still gave the all clear to let him go.

Which brings me on to my third point… why the hell did she slip saline inject him with it so he could escape once he became the meta human, cried when the guards tried to take him away to send to Titan only to then send him up there anyway! This film was abysmal I mean it was everything that’s wrong with a sci-fi film these days Jesus Christ on a bike we never hear from Titan again nor do we get any mention of why Titan might be inhabitable.

Seriously give this film a miss, the acting is appalling, Sam Worthington is really really bad in this movie as is the actress who plays his wife, even Tom Wilkinson was awful, now don’t get me wrong I’ve seen the kid act in a few other films most recently Wonder and Suburbicon but even he is not that great, and I’m prone to praise child actors but good god my ten year old brother could act better than some of these people in this film… final rating 0/10 the acting and the plot are terrible, let me tell you I was happy when the credits rolled excelsior! I cried thank god that’s over as I turned to my sister who was laughing at the ridiculousness of what we watched.

But anyway guys until next time I will catch ya later my dudes!!!!

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