Tag: fantasy

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Flatliners…. Just Why

Posted on by jadedsteelereviews

There are some remakes that are destined to be remade, and then there are some that bestow that old age saying and I quote “don’t fix what isn’t broken” Flatliners falls in to is category, sure the original which was released way back in the early 90s was okay at best but this is still one film that should never ever be remade like ever.

Flatliners follows the story of college grad students who undertake an experiment, which is basically to die experience the afterlife and then be bought back to life only for them to start hallucinating and seeing things. Now sounds interesting, the nineties version is fantastic regarding the story, pacing and visuals, this 2017 remake looks cheesy, tacky and just really really bad visually, trust me read my Dark Tower review and you will see that I hated that movie, this movie, oh boy hate isn’t even the word to describe this movie, it was garbage absolute garbage, the pacing seemed fast and the visuals were god awfully terrible the acting was…. pardon my potty mouth but SHIT!!!!!

This is only a short review because there is nothing else to say about this movie don’t waste your money and go see Blade Runner (which far superior than this pile of horseshit) Final rating 0/10 it’s awful anyway guys I’ll catch ya later 🙂

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IT, Probably One Of The Best Adaptions To A Stephen King Novel Ever

Posted on by jadedsteelereviews

As I’ve said before I love book to film adaptions, however in my Dark Tower review there are some books that need special attention when adapting them in to a film, IT does just that and is by far a definite achievement by adapting the infamous novel in to one of the most scariest films we have seen this year.

For those who are unfamiliar with the story of IT let me tell you, IT is about a clown who every twenty seven years comes to Derry in Maine to kidnap children, a group of kids nicknamed the losers club go out and destroy the clown, only for it to come back 27 years later when they are adults, and that’s IT, the film is so terrifyingly scary that I found myself watching through my fingers at some scenes, however this isn’t your average horror movie no, it has some absolutely amazing comedic moments especially from the young cast, the banter between them is amazing, the insults are just hilarious, my favourite insult has to be when a member of the losers club peeks in to Eddie’s medicine cabinet and says “hey Eddie are these birth control pills” to which Eddie replies “yeah those are for your sister” trust me there’s plenty more where that come from during the two hour run time.

The scares are impressive as is Pennywise, who is played incredibly well by Bill Skarsgard, he actually gives Tim Curry a run for his money, Pennywise in this film is probably the best thing about this movie as is the talented young cast, the film stars Jaeden Lieberher as Bill Denbrough the leader of the losers club, Finn Wolfhard as Richie Tozier the comedic one of the group, Chosen Jacobs as Mike Hanlon, Jack Dylan Grazer as hypochondriac Eddie Kasbrak and Wyatt Oleff as Stan Uris, trust me this cast is amazing to watch, you can tell they enjoyed making the film.

All in all IT is one of the most faithful adaptions of a Stephen King book I have seen in a long time, almost makes me forget we had a Dark Tower release but hey that’s just me, oh for those who suffer from coulrophobia for the love of god stay away from this film, anyway IT is an amazing, scary if not terrifying and faithful movie adaption, now I ask you a question with the amount of Stephen King novels we are seeing getting adapted what book would you like to see get the big screen adaption, for me I would love to see a Misery or even a Cujo remake, what do want to see adapted let me know I’m quite interested to hear, but until next time guys catch ya later.

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A Monster Calls, Who In The Love Of God Is Cutting Onions Here

Posted on by jadedsteelereviews

Oh jeez never has a film affected me so much, I’m gonna come clean about something I am a huge mummy’s boy I love my mum to the end of the earth and would do anything for her, I saw the trailer for this film and thought right.. yeah I’m not going to see this at all because I know what I will be like, an emotional cry baby, so my mum and dad and a few friends got together and watched A Monster Calls… as the lights came up at the end I was a wreck my face was soaked with tears it was like I had half of Niagara Falls pouring out of my eyes.

A Monster Calls follows the story of a young boy named Connor his mum has cancer and his one fear is losing her, he is tormented at school by bullies, one night a monster in the form of a tree comes along and tells him three stories, by the way the animation that goes with these stories is phenomenal just wanna point that out, any way as the film goes on we learn that Connor’s mum is dying and the only thing that can cure her is medicine from an ancient old yew tree, we start thinking yay there’s hope, but alas there isn’t and the final bit of treatment is unsuccessful, after an emotional talk about if your feeling angry and want to break something then break them, Connor goes back to the monster and tells him that he’s afraid of letting go, he’s afraid and doesn’t want his mum to die (feeling emotional yet) he feels tired and falls asleep with the monster telling him that when he wakes up it’ll be time.

When Connor wakes up his grandmother comes and drops him off at the hospital, cue one of the most emotional moments ever seen in a children’s film… oh yeah did I mention this is a children’s film, anyway the monster appears in the hospital with Connor and tells him that this is the end of the fourth tale (the fourth tale was Connor’s fear of losing his mum) Connor asks what he should do to which the monster replies “speak the truth” Connor then looks at his mum smiles at her and says “I don’t want you to go” well let’s just say at this point Niagara Falls was pouring out of my eyes, I was a wreck, anyway after an emotional farewell Connor’s mum sadly passes away in Connor’s arms (if your not crying your eyes out then your a cyborg I’m sorry)

Oh boy this film was sad, emotional and above all depressing! I have never cried at a film like that…. oh yeah The Notebook forgot about that anyway A Monster Calls is by far a very very very emotional film and for a kids film it does touch on some pretty dark themes such as death, cancer and losing someone we love, but then saying that that’s every child’s fear, look at Disney when they kill of the parents that’s every kids worst nightmare losing a parent, any way let’s make this review happy happy happy, I loved this film a lot my final rating is 10/10 is dark, depressing and really really emotional, so do yourselves a favour and go watch this film it’s amazing but until next time guys catch ya later.

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Before I Wake, Terrifyingly Scary

Posted on by jadedsteelereviews

As I’ve said before and I will say it again… I love horror movies whether they be awful bottom of the barrel type b-movies like Sharknado (don’t judge) or a good old fashioned ghost story like the Woman In Black I love them, Before I Wake doesn’t fall in to any of those no, it falls once again in to bargain bin territory, lets dive in to that said bin this is Before I Wake.

Okay first of all the scares a minimal and cliched the acting by the parents is so so but the story is really bittersweet and quite sad once you get to the final act. The film starts Thomas Jane, who plays the dad and Kate Bosworth playing the mum, then we have straight outta Room Jacob Tremblay who probably who an amazing child actor for his age, he plays Cody the adopted son of the parents whose dreams can come magically to life, while this sounds like a Guillermo Del Toro movie your pretty much mistaken, Cody’s nightmares can also come to life, in the form of the least threatening sounding villain ever The Canker Man!!!! ooooooooo!!!!! sounds terrifying doesn’t it not! anyway it turns out when Cody was little his mum died of cancer and Cody’s fear was losing her, so uh oh! The Canker Man appears, however it in fact the cancer man as that’s what his mum died of, so the Canker man is really known as the cancer man, he was scared of losing his mum to cancer, so I guess in a way the villain is in fact cancer.

Anyway the film was pretty good I’m not gonna lie the scares were pretty cliched, the acting was so so but the plot/ending packs an emotional punch, all in all Before I Wake is an okay movie it’s not the greatest nor is it the scariest, as I said in the Book Of Henry review you will find this probably in the bargain bin at your local supermarket for about five pounds, final rating 5/10 but until next time guys catch ya later.

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Beyond The Black Rainbow… Trippy Nothing Else Just Trippy

Posted on by jadedsteelereviews

Wow, wow, wow, wow… this film is just wow! Visually amazing the soundtrack is a proper 80s throwback the plot is a little hard to follow at some points, but don’t worry about the plot with this one, this is a film where you can sit back relax and let the visuals take you on a weird acid like trip without the acid.

Clocking in at around two hours the plot starts with a classic 80s throwback and cinematography that’s straight out of 2001: A Space Odyssey, I can’t tell you much about the plot because it’s quite a tricky one to tell, but really you shouldn’t watch it for the plot it’s more of a visual experience, and boy this film has some amazing visuals right from the off, from the bright white room where a young girl is staying, to a glowing white pyramid in the middle of a dark and dimly lit room, now I’m not gonna lie the film is slow, like really really slow, this is the sort of film that you have to watch when you have absolutely nothing to do, oh and probably watch it in a quiet room where there’s no distractions, while I’m at it don’t watch it if anyone you know is epileptic… trust me not a good idea. The acting is impressive (trust me you will hate the therapist/psychiatrist guy)

All in all Beyond The Black Rainbow is a visually impressive slow burner of a film and a right proper throwback to the sci-fi movies of the seventies and eighties final rating 10/10 for the amazing visual hypnotic journey you take.

Oh by the way this film was requested by a user who goes by the name warriornonoba shout out to him/her for recommending this fantastic film one of my new favourites at the moment, so as always guys catch ya later 🙂

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The Dark Tower Works As A Standalone Film Rather Than An Adaptation

Posted on by jadedsteelereviews

I am a huge Stephen King fan, I’ve read and loved every book he wrote, from The Shining to Carrie and my personal favourite It which hits cinemas next month, this year we’ve seen a lot of Stephen King adaptions quite recently The Dark Tower, however I say adaption but the dark tower is nothing like the books, the director really wanted to squeeze in as much as he could with the dark tower, all in all it’s a jumbled up mess.

The dark tower weaves together all the dark tower series in to one film rather than stick to just one source material, I didn’t particularly enjoy this movie and I’m going to be really honest about it, it sucked…. It sucked big time, like really sucked probably the worst film I have ever had the displeasure of seeing at the cinema, the story was dull and unfaithful to the books the acting was sub par and the CGI looked like something out of a cheesy 80s action flick.

Even one guy I was sitting next to mumbled “that didn’t happen” “oh that certainly didn’t happen” “well this is just god awful” no wait that was me, anyway the film was a massive pile of crap, do yourself a favour and go see something else, don’t waste your money on this, it really is just a god awful film try and find another Stephen King adaption to watch I guarantee it’ll be a thousand times better than this mess of a film.

Final score 0/10 possibly the lowest I’ve ever given a film on here, anyway guys until next time catch you later.

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Dracula Untold Review

Posted on by jadedsteelereviews

To celebrate the release of seventh son in the UK I thought I review another fantasy film called Dracula Untold, now I was never a fan of fantasy films (I still hate them to this day) my sister wanted to go see this and I thought okay why not hey it can’t be bad can’t it, oh boy was I wrong on so many levels. Dracula untold tells the untold story of Vlad the impaler, this is the guy who Bram Stoker based the infamous Dracula on, now what’s wrong with this film, well for one its short, very very short (about 80 minutes or so) I mean I was kinda disappointed when it ended because I felt like we didn’t get enough backstory on this guy, but nonetheless lets sink our teeth (if you pardon the pun) in to this monstrosity of a film.

So we open up on Vlad’s son Ingelras telling the story of how Vlad became the impaler he is known for today, cut to a few years later and Vlad and his clan are outside a cave, they are visiting an infamous vampire (played by Charles Dance) after some dialogue and some not so scary moments they leave. Back in Vlad’s kingdom they are celebrating Easter until the Turkish arrive and tell Vlad that they demand 1200 boys for their army, but Vlad declines thus sparking another feud with the Turkish, cut to a few days later and Vlad gives up his son to the Turkish (or does he) he then kills some of the Turkish soldiers waiting to take Ingelras away.

Vlad decides to go to the vampire from the start of the film, and this is where he turns in to Count Dracula. After some dialogue and not a lot of things going on (best to go for a bathroom break here) now wee see the Turkish army moving in and what does Vlad do to stop the army from invading, he turns in to thousands upon thousands of bats (to be honest this was the best part of the film) but then his wife is pushed from this really tall building and then bam she dies (spoiler alert) so what does Vlad do well he turns his whole kingdom in to vampires (because why the fuck not) so they attack the Turkish army head on and after an okay battle scene the townspeople turn on Vlad, as one preist takes Ingelras Vlad is left to fend for himself. 

Cut to the present (and I shit you not this was the most cringiest part of the film) Vlad hasn’t aged all of the people in his kingdom are dead (his son included) well at a Viennese market Vlad walks up to a woman and says “how do you do my lady” now this part to me was a commercial for a fragrance, seriously I was waiting for the voice over guy to say “bite, the new fragrance by Vlad” honest to god I was waiting for that, suddenly Charles Dance’s character gets up and says “let the games begin” and it ends there hinting at a possible sequel yay!!! (Insert sarcastic tone here)

And that was Dracula untold, my God did I hate this film I mean it was so atrociously bad I wanted to get bitten by  Vlad himself, I mean the acting is poor the dialogue is awkward and just god awfully cringeworthy, whoever wrote the script must be sacked it was that bad, mind you I’m not suprised since it got a 28% rating on rotten tomatoes, and plus it was directed by a guy who shit commercials for a living…. Oh that explains the really really bad ending the director thought he was making a commercial instead of a film, oh it makes sense now. Anyway what do I give Dracula Untold, well I give it a 2/10 mostly because of the cheesy dialogue and awful acting, so let me know what you thought of Dracula untold as always I would love to hear your opinion on this film, and also are you going to see Seventh Son when it comes out, let me know, until next time catch you later.

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