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House (1977) weird, bizarre… Two Words To Describe This Japanese Horror Flick.

Oh Japan… never change, from the country that bought us anime, Hayo Miyazaki, Yu-Gi-Oh and Godzilla House can be described in one word… trippy.

I have never done drugs, never smoked weed never tried it at all, but this Japanese cult classic is truly something that needs to be seen to truly understand how bizarre it really is.

Directed by Nobuhiko Obayashi and released in 1977 it follows six schoolgirls, one of them named Gorgeous on account of her looks, they travel to Gorgeous’s aunts house in the japanese country side, the house which is in fact haunted starts to terrify the girls.

That’s the plot… The rest of what follows is the most bizarre, there’s no other word to explain it, it’s just bizarre, the effects are surreal and… basically it’s like you’ve done acid without even taking acid its that trippy.

The editing as well is something else, there’s a thing on YouTube called YouTube Poop and it’s a collection of videos poorly edited but in a comical way, this movie is basically an hour and a half YouTube Poop video in a sense, but it’s so good that your basically begging for more.

House has now become my top favourite movie, it’s bizarre it’s weird it’s a damn good horror flick from the country that certainly knows how to do horror, this film gets a solid 10/10 from me, it’s brilliant and definitely a film that has to be seen before you die.

But as always guys, catch ya later 🙂

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The Squid And The Whale, A Tale Of Divorce, Sea Creatures and Tennis.

I first discovered Noah Baumbach when his Netflix film Marriage Story dropped last year, I immediately fell in love with not only the film but his style of capturing the sad, depressing tale of divorce which as we all know can be heartbreaking whether it’s done amicably or acrimoniously, The Squid And The Whale shows us the rather acrimonious side of divorce.

Released in 2005 and starring Jeff Daniels and Laura Linney as the two divorcing parents, and Jesse Eisenberg and Owen Kline as the two brothers stuck between which parent to go too, the film wastes no time diving in to the divorce as we hear the plan as to what’s happening to the parents such as where they’re going to live somewhat day’s they’ll have the children.

Firstly I want to mention the acting, not only from the parents but from the two young actors, they deliver a performance so well that you generally feel sorry for what they’re going through, I know many children who have been through a divorce and the toll it has on them, it’s sad to say the least but it does happen and the two brothers put on such a convincing performance it’s incredible really, considering Owen Kline’s character.

Now there was a certain scene that I did not see coming and I mean really didn’t see coming, the young boy is sitting in the school library and proceeds to stand up walk over to the back end of the library and play with himself, not only do you see him pelvic thrust up against the bookshelf but once he’s done he wiped the white liquid on the books on the shelf, I certainly wasn’t expecting that at all.

Second and lastly the cinematography is amazing, all filmed on super 16mm all done on a handheld camera, the finished product here is gorgeous to look at and captures 1980s New York really well, the Criterion blue ray for this film is brilliant and well worth the money for sure.

The film for me gets a well deserved 10/10 the acting is top notch, the plot is brilliant and the cinematography is beautiful to look at, as always catch ya later 🙂

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Top Ten Nostalgic Movies That Remind Me Of My Childhood

  • I feel like I haven’t done one of these in a while, so as you could’ve of guessed from the title this is a top ten list of those nostalgic movies that I grew up with as a child, some are old and some are in my opinion good old classics, so with out further ado let’s take a look at number ten.
  • 10: Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey

    I remember owning this when good old VHS was still around, for Christmas my parents bought a Disney remastered DVD of Homeward Bound, I used to watch this film to death, every time my parents when to have a movie night bam! Homeward Bound would be in there.

    I only recently learnt that this is a remake of a sixties maybe seventies adaption of a book (yeah I didn’t know it was a book either) the film follows a golden retriever named Shadow an American bulldog named Chance and a Himalayan cat named Sassy as they try to make their way home back to their owners.

    There’s a certain scene in this film that still to this day I cannot watch and that is when Sassy slips and falls in to the water and gets swept away by the current, still at 25 years of age I cannot and will not watch that scene still to this day.

    9: The Never Ending Story

    Unlike the sequels this is the film of the 80s, I was six maybe seven when my dad showed me this film and ever since then I fell in love with it, the film follows a little boy named Bastian who loves to read books, he also gets bullied by three other boys, he “borrows” a book from a grumpy old bookstore owner and thus begins his journey to the land of Fantasia which is being overrun by a evil entity known only as The Nothing.

    In Fantasia a boy named Atreyu must save the Childlike Empress from dying by searching for a cure all while avoiding a wolf like creature named g’mork.

    A little trivia for you now, the film was slated by the author Micheal Ende who wrote the book, much like Stephen King’s hatred of Stanley Kubrick’s adaption of The Shining Micheal Ende sued its director Wolfgang Pietersen for destroying the source material from which the film was based on, Ende eventually lost the court case and nothing come from it, the film was released in nineteen eighty four to critical acclaim.

    8: Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back

    A New Hope kicked off my love for all things Star Wars but it’s Empire Strikes Back that makes it on to the list, mainly because of that infamous twist in with Darth Vader reveals that Luke is his father.

    I remember watching that specific part then running to my mum and dad who were in the middle of cooking dinner all while feeding my younger sister who was I believe three maybe two, I remember running in to the kitchen and yelling “Darth Vader is Luke’s daddy!!!!” My mum and dad looked at each other and said to me “did you see it coming?” I said “no I didn’t how is that possible” bearing in mind this is before Revenge Of The Sith came out so this must of been at least 2001-02.

    Every time I watch this movie I’m drawn back to that time so this film holds a very very special place in my heart, also look online for various other children reacting to that very very famous scene some are very very very adorable indeed and melt your heart.

    7: Romeo And Juliet (1996)

    I was 12 years old when I first discovered Baz Lurhman, specifically I was in year eight all the way back in 2008, we were learning about Shakespeare we handpicked a selection of his plays, our English teacher chose this particular to appeal to the boys and also to the girls as well, it appealed to the boys because of the guns and car chases and very rapidly shot action sequences and quick camera cuts (a Baz Lurhman signature style of cinematography)

    I actually enjoyed this film so much that I actually asked my English teacher if I could borrow the video (it was 08 and VHS was still around) anyway she let me borrow it and my journey in to Baz Lurhman films began, so a massive thank you to my English teacher back at school for broadening my horizons.

    6: Every Single Rugrats Movie That Came Out

    Being a kid of the 2000s you either grew up with one or two cartoons, Rugrats or Spongebob, the latter came out when I was six and after watching the first episode air I immediately fell in love and still to this day quote lines from the show very very often, back when I was a kid I felt like Spongebob carefree and happy, nowadays I can relate to squidward on a level that I can’t even comprehend!

    Still the Rugrats holds a special place in my heart, I owned every single film they released on VHS and on DVD, I still to this day despise Angelica, she was one of those cartoon characters that I detested with a passion.

    I can remember going to the cinema to see the first Rugrats movie, I also went cinema to see Rugrats In Paris, heck I even went to see Rugrats Go Wild where they crossed over with the Wild Thornberries (seeing that on the big screen was like seeing the avengers for the first time)

    5 Homeward Bound 2: Lost In San Francisco

    Yep I also had this on VHS as well and like the first Homeward Bound I fell in love with it, sure it’s not grand and epic like the first one but still it’s Homeward Bound come on, it follows the formula as what the first one did, animals get lost and they try to find their way back to their owners.

    Thankfully there’s no waterfalls in this one so I had no trouble watching this film in its entirety.

    4 Free Willy

    That opening scene, that opening score woah I am transported back to when I was little growing up, I was around seven maybe eight when I discovered this movie, this film got me into killer whales they are such fascinating creatures, very very intelligent as well, I believe my uncle showed me this movie one summer, still it’s a nostalgic emotional ride every time that opening scene plays.

    3: Harry Potter (Every single One)

    Yes every single Harry Potter film I have been to see at the cinema, I was six when the Philosophers Stone came out and I was sixteen when The Deathly Hallows Part two came out, for ten years I’ve grown up with the wizarding world of Harry Potter and they still stand the test of time to this day and age, and yes these are the films that age like a fine wine.

    2: The Lord Of The Rings Franchise

    Yes, I was in primary school when these films came out, I had all the PS2 games that went with them, I had all the dvds all the posters and action figures, basically I was a die hard Lord Of The Rings fan and so were three of my classmates, we used to play it out in the playground (I was always gimli on account of my small physique) still to this day I hate my two mates for making me that guy.

    1: Every Single Disney Movie Ever Made

    You name it I’ve watched it, there isn’t a single Disney movie that I haven’t seen ever!!! You could say I’m a die hard Disney fan and I’m not afraid to admit it but I am, there’s just something magical about tuning in to a good old fashioned Disney movie, The Lion King still stands as one of the greatest Disney movies ever made, the soundtrack is amazing the songs are catchy as hell, and yes all you guys reading this I enjoyed Frozen, just let it go! (See what I did there) anyway, Disney still stands the test of time, most of their films have been adapted in to live action remakes and stage shows and yet they still bring us touching emotional movies still do this day.

    So there you have it, my top ten list of nostalgic movies that remind me of my childhood, what movies make you feel nostalgic, let me know, are you Disney buff or a nineteen eighties buff, I would love to know what movies remind you of your childhood.

    As always guys catch ya later:)

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    Joker, Not Your Typical Superhero Movie

    Right off the bat this isn’t your typical DC superhero movie, get that out of your head, but like any other DC movie it’s dark and this film pulls no punches in the dark factor, Joaquin Phoenix plays the part of Arthur Fleck really well that you actually start sympathising with the villain rather than the heroes in the Batman franchise.

    It starts off dark and gets even darker as we descend in to Arthur’s descent in to madness and in to the villain we all know today, he starts off as a entertainer at a company called Ha Ha’s basically he does odd jobs here and there entertaining as a clown, what I love about this movie is that it not only highlights mental health but it does it in a way that you end feeling sorry for the bloke knowing full well that he turns in to a psychopath later on. It does it in a very very brilliantly executed manner, that you start hating Batman and loving the Joker it’s brilliant because you start to feel less sorry for the rich and more sorry for the poor.

    The director Todd Phillips shows this for example Gotham is shown to represent New York in the eighties and then it slowly begins to descend in to gangland wars and riots and uprisings galore, the cinematography is captured amazingly and not to mention the soundtrack is perfection.

    Okay yeah there is that song by Gary Glitter but ignore that controversial move and you’ve got these haunting strings such as violins and cellos composed beautifully by (excuse the spelling she’s Icelandic so bare with) Hildur Guonadóttir, she totally deserved that Oscar win because her haunting pieces are fantastic.

    Joker was by far the best movie of 2019 and controversial opinion but Phoenix tops Ledger as The Joker by a mile yeah I went there, definitely gets a solid 10/10.

    As always guys catch ya later 🙂

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    Safety, an important short film that needs to be seen

    I love short stories I really do, there’s just something about them that makes them stand out among feature length movies, you get ones that filmmakers post on YouTube and then you get the ones that are tipped for awards, Safety falls in to the tipped for all the awards this upcoming awards season let me explain why.

    America has the highest fatality rate for gun deaths, higher than any other country put together, thousands upon thousands are protesting for gun control across the states, the latest shooting happened in Santa Clarita, Safety is one of these films that make you think about all those school shootings that have happened in the past, such as Parkland and Newtown.

    The film not only makes you think about those horrific, tragic and upsetting events, but it captures the survivors and puts you in their shoes and makes you think “what would I do” and it captures that in such an emotional and tear jerking way that can’t even be described, the acting is amazing especially the young children, there are moments that make you think and there are moments that make you wonder, but then there’s the moments that make you wonder…. why? Why is this still happening? why are we letting more and more innocent lives get taken away from us? why aren’t the US government doing any thing about it? These questions will flow through your mind at supersonic speed that by the end of the film your sat there in astonishment.

    Now as I said before, this film is tipped to win many awards, and I for one will be rooting for this film, and who knows fingers crossed that there’s an Oscar nomination next year, because let me tell you it needs to win an Oscar because it’s such an important film for our time.

    Without a doubt this short gets a 100% rating, its eye opening and very very thought provoking, well done to everyone who worked on such an important movie, do yourself a favour and stop what your doing and go and watch this movie!!! It’s imperative that you do!!!

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    Child’s Play (2019) I Was Not Expecting That

    Slasher movies… you either love or hate them I love them, Sleepaway Camp great, Friday The 13th great, Nightmare On Elm Street great, you get it I love slasher movies but… Child’s Play, Child’s Play is one of my favourite slasher movies of all time, so much so that I have the original on Blu-Ray and it’s fantastic, you see Chucky push a babysitter out of the window in glorious high definition and it’s fantastic!

    When I heard they were remaking I must admit I had my doubts, like really had my doubts, remakes of horror films you have to get right if you deviate away from the original you are going to have a massive dud on your hands, Child’s Play isn’t that type of remake.

    Let me explain, the formula is still there, murderous doll kills people, adults think it’s the kid the kid blames it on the doll and Bob’s your uncle Stacey’s your aunt Greg’s your cousin you have Child’s Play the formula is still there, and you have room for a sequel heck maybe even a franchise, deviate away from that formula and as I said before your going to have a dud, it’s the equivalent of saying Jason from Friday The 13th goes to space and kills some astronauts…. wait what? They did that already? No no no, right hold on let me check *furiously scours through internet* huh… well okay that’s like having alien face off against the predator in a sleepy town where they kill loads of innocent people…. don’t tell they’ve done that as well!

    You see look how those films turned out they sucked because they took the formula and they changed it, Jason belongs on a campsite not in space, aliens and predator don’t belong on earth they belong in space, it’s like if Chucky got married and had a child they’ve already done that haven’t they? Damn! What I’m trying to say is stick to the formula and don’t change it.

    Child’s Play 2019 while it does change the formula just for the opening scene I might add we don’t have a serial killer possess a good guy doll no, instead we have a disgruntled worker in Vietnam who makes a doll called Buddi they are part of a company called Kazlan the Buddi doll can connect to any Kazlan smart device sounds pretty fancy what could go wrong I hear you ask well this Vietnamese worker is falling behind on the productivity and his toy making quota is low so his boss berates him and out of anger he switches every safety feature on a buddi doll off.

    We then get a look at our new Andy Barclay played by Gabriel Bateman (whose sister believe it or not was in the Annabelle sequel Annabelle 2) now I’ve seen this kid in a few other things mainly American Gothic a highly, massively underrated show which lasted one or two seasons but the one horror film I have seen him in was an underrated flick called Lights Out which really messed me up big time.

    We then get our new Karen Barclay played amazingly by Aubrey Plaza and then, then we have the main character the one the only Chucky! Terrifyingly played by Mark Hamill, now when I say terrifyingly I mean damn Hamill’s voice sends shivers and chills down the back of your spine, specially when he sings the buddi song *shudders*

    Now there is also some really dark humour in this flick also and the kills oh my god the kills are genius, there’s one where a guy gets his face ripped off by a lawn mower, the acting is amazing especially by the new Andy Barclay.

    Child’s Play 2019 was an absolute treat to watch, it was surprisingly really really good the kazlan mart scene holy mother of Christ that scene was brutal.

    I give Child’s Play 2019 a massive 10/10 it was amazing and you guys should definitely check this one out

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    Good Boys: A Kid Friendly Version Of Superbad…. Just Remove The Friendly

    This movie is kinda like a car crash, you want to look away but can’t. It’s effective in doing that because I a twenty four year old who has a twelve year old brother just like the kids in this flick are, couldn’t even look at the screen… tell a lie I did.

    Now my brother has begun secondary school, which for those in the US that’s basically middle school/high school, he has two mates who come round here almost every week, recently they had a sleepover and they had a laugh talking about video games and all sorts, they even head down to the beach and have a laugh and giggle about stuff that happened in school that very same week.

    Now your probably wondering why I’m telling you this, trust me it’ll make so much sense now, I can relate to this film on a level that can’t even comprehend.

    Good Boys follows three best mates Jacob Tremblay plays Max, a twelve year old boy whose never kissed a girl before, Brady Noon plays Thor who earns the name sippy cup on account that he wouldn’t drink a bottle of beer, and Keith L. Williams who plays Lucas whose parents are going through a divorce.

    Now… the jokes/comedy run riot, the naivety of these twelve year olds are hilarious, especially where one of the boys raids his parents belongings and begin to arm themselves against a guy whose coming to purchase a rare card which Lucas owns, this scene in particular is hilarious because of what the boys load up on, anal beads which they assume is nunchucks, another reason why this scene is downright hilarious is because Jacob Tremblay’s character stands in doorway as they greet the potential buyer wearing a gimp mask, I mean a gimp mask, they got a twelve year old boy to wear a gimp mask.

    Trust me this film really put me on edge as when I got back from the movies my brother said he’s going out with the two friends as mentioned above, immediately I was panicking, what is he doing, where is he going and what kind of shenanigans are they going to get up too.

    I absolutely loved this film, mainly because it’s by the same team who bought us Sausage Party and Superbad, but because of the comedy that ensues during the ninety minute runtime, the jokes come thick and fast, one minute you’ll be wetting yourselves laughing next you’ll be going aww, I give this film a solid 10/10 it’s hilarious and heartwarming but parents be warned as you will be watching your preteens a little closer after viewing this movie, anyway as always catch you guys later 🙂

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    A Serbian Film… Yep… I Watched It

    I feel wrong.

    This is by far the most vile movie ever, as I said in my Irréversible review I love foreign cinema, now I heard about this films from various people, and they told me what’s in store for me if I ever decided to watch it, my oh my how I immediately regret watching this film.

    A Serbian Film follows an adult film actor who is hired to do various “things” now, I am going to go in to some very very very very very very disgusting material so for the love of all things holy if you suffer from a nervous disposition the please… stop fucking reading!!!!

    In a scene the actor is told to perform a sexual act, sounds tame I hear you say ha ha ha I laugh at your naivety ha ha ha!!! No he is asked to perform sex on a new born baby…. yes….. you read that right…. no I am not making that up…. he is asked to perform a sexual act on a newborn fucking baby!!! Oh believe me it gets a whole lot fucking worse!!! How? As I watch you cower in fear and adopt the fetal position! Well soon after he is then asked to perform sex on….. a dead corpse…… no again you read that right…. there’s necrophelia in this god forsaken shitshow.

    To make matters worse the end of the film is horrid!!! He’s asked to shag his wife again sounds tame you say it’s not that bad ha ha ha!!! Again I laugh at you…. ha ha ha ha!!!! No let’s throw in there a six year old little boy. Again you read that right! He’s forced to shag his wife and six year old son, angered by this he shoots himself, his wife and son.

    The closing line for this movie is when a guy walks in unzips his trousers and to which the director says, start with the young one.

    A Serbian Film ladies and gentlemen!!!

    Good god almighty I feel dirty I feel wrong, this is by far the most vilest movie I have ever seen, it’s definitely got some shock value in there definitely!!! This movie is fifty shades of wrong! The director should be checked for mental health issues because who in their right mind would even conjure up a movie like this!!! It’s sick!!! Absolutely fucking vile!!! It’s one of them films that stay with you long after the credits have finished rolling, like ewww!!!! This films gets a 0/10 because of the things I’ve seen in that movie are fucking disgusting, do not watch this vile movie!!!! It’s fucking wrong!!!! Like wrong on so many levels… ewww!!!!!! Now if you’ll excuse me I need to wash my eyes!!! Goodbye catch ya fucking later!!!!

    *storms off while mumbling under breath*

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    Irreversible, one of the most disgusting, brutal, goriest films I have ever seen ever!!!!

    Gaspar Noé is one of them directors where most people haven’t seen his movies, like me I’ve never heard of the guy, but until recently his recent film Climax sparked my attention, after a quick google search of his other filmography I noticed he directed a film called Irréversible, now I love films that cause controversy, mainly cause I love seeing what all the fuss was about, oh how I now believe the old adage curiosity killed the cat!

    Irréversible follows Vincent Cassel as he searches Paris for the man who raped his girlfriend, the film is told in reverse chronological order, it starts off with Cassel’s character being carted off on a stretcher with a broken arm, we then he how said arm ended up getting broken, he’s trying to find the bloke who raped his girlfriend, upon seeing a guy he beats him up the guy then breaks Cassel’s arm thus revealing how he broke it, then we get the first of many brutal scenes, one of Cassel’s chums gets a fire extinguisher and savagely and rather brutally bludgeons the poor sods brains in.

    We then see the characters savagely beating up a cab driver, then cutting to the characters questioning a sex worker who was the rapists previous victim, hesitant she declines but one of the guys holds a shard of glass to her throat, they are then chased by some really angry sex workers and a couple of guys split up and go different ways, Cassel’s girlfriend Alex is revealed to be in a coma following the rape, he sees her bludgeoned body on a stretcher thus setting up the rest of the film, we then cut to Alex played by Monica Bellucci leaving a party trying to hail a taxi she gives up and goes down an underpass where she comes across the sex worker that Cassel was questioning, she is beaten up by the bloke their trying to search for.

    Now I’m gonna stop right there, for those who really don’t like graphic details stop reading now!!! You have been warned!!!! The bloke then attacks Alex and… proceeds to rape her… and yes you see and hear fucking everything, the scene lasts for ten minutes and is uninterrupted it’s all one long continuous shot.

    Now this is the reason why the film garnered massive controversy, the rape scene and of course the fire extinguisher scene too, now I love foreign movies I do, but sometimes there’s a film that comes along and shocks the shit outta you, Irréversible is that film, now Gaspar Noé with this film really pulls no punches at all, the scenes are very very hard to watch especially the infamous rape scene, but woah! The cinematography is A plus! The score as well is amazing, I read somewhere that they used low sounding audio to make the viewer feel uneasy and sick, and good god it does the job, from the opening scene your on the edge of your seat from the word go!

    To say I liked this film would be wrong, I mean it’s well shot I’m not disputing that, but certain scenes are really really unwatchable, five times I had to turn away and gag, all in all it’s a damn depressing film, and it’s definitely the type of you say “yep I’m only watching that film once” I’d give this film a dare I say it but 8/10.

    I’m basing it on the cinematography and the score, nothing else!!! But as always guys until next time catch ya later 🙂

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    The House That Jack Built…

    Sometimes a film comes along and downright shocks you, films like Human Centipede *shudders* films like A Serbian Film (so many things wrong with that film) but then a film comes along where you can’t decide whether to stop watching and switch it off or keep watching it and see where it takes you, The House That Jack Built is one of those movies and believe as much as I wanted to switch it off I thought NO!!!! I’m not going too, what followed was possibly the most hardest film I’ve had to sit through, number one was my sisters school choir recital… god forbid I never knew kids could turn the colours of the rainbow in to a two and half hour song about what said colours represent.

    What a surprise that said film was directed by none other than the king of depression Lars Von Trier… The House That Jack Built not my sisters choir recital, although I would’ve paid to see that, The House That Jack Built follows Matt Dillon through a twelve year serial killing spree, we see him kill women, men and children.

    Yep, you heard me, we actually see him kill children. It doesn’t happen off camera no, we see the bloodiness of it all guts and gore the whole Shabang! And out of all the scenes in that film that’s the one that really kept me awake for days, I’m not gonna go in to detail about it but let’s just say it involves two young boys and a high powered sniper rifle (you can work out the rest) the film itself is utterly disturbing as we see Jack become so obsessed with these killings that it makes you wonder and ponder what’s going to happen next, all while your watching through your fingers, you sit there wondering how is this all going to pan out, is he going to get caught.

    I must say for the record that Matt Dillon’s performance is absolutely terrifying, he plays the part of Jack so very well that you kinda forget your watching an actor on screen and more like a Netflix true crime docu-series, the most disturbing part was possibly when Jack forces a Mum to feed her dead son pie and rearranges said son’s face giving him a rather grotesque looking smile, I’m not gonna lie but I did walk out at that very part because you will need a strong stomach to sit through that.

    The ending however is possibly one of the greatest twists I think I’ve ever seen, Jack has these conversations with a man called Verge, at the end of the film Verge is revealed to be actually Virgil the great roman poet who wrote Dante’s Divine Comedy, in the poem Virgil guides Dante through Hell and Purgatory, this serves as the ending to The House That Jack Built and its executed very very well, Verge is played very very well by Bruno Ganz, the guy who played Adolf Hitler in the amazing film Downfall.

    I’ve never really liked Lars Von Trier but I do believe that this is possibly one of his most ambitiously artistic film I’ve seen, and that’s a rare occasion me completing a Lars Von Trier film, all in all I give The House That Jack Built a fair 7/10 it’s ballsy very very ballsy given the fact that we see kids being murdered, but credit goes to Dillon and Ganz’s acting, these two actors gave a performance worthy of an Oscar (Ganz possibly a posthumous Oscar nod on account of his death earlier this year) any way guys I’ll catch ya later 🙂