Tag: action

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The Devil’s Rejects…. Who The Hell Requested This Movie Too Me!!!

Posted on by jadedsteelereviews

I can take gore… no really I can… Cabin In The Woods that’s gory and I can take that…. the Final Destination franchise…. gory but again I can take that, The Devil’s Rejects take gore and raises it to 100% it’s disgusting like proper unfit for the squeamish gory, I’m squeamish okay I’ll admit but sorry excuse my language but fuck me sideways and call me Clive this film is just absolutely disgusting, I was gagging half of the time during this.

Now I’ve never seen a Rob Zombie movie and quite frankly after this film I don’t plan too, Rob Zombie’s films remind me of Eli Roth’s movies, you have to have a strong stomach to journey through Eli Roth’s movies, take Cabin Fever to this day I still can’t watch it because I feel physically sick to my stomach, The Green Inferno I can’t watch that at all, I switched it off at the forty minute mark. Now this film was requested to me via Twitter (@jackblake151 if you want to request a film to me) I got a message in my inbox saying in big capital letters DEVIL’S REJECTS!!!!! thank me later…. well thank you to whomever sent that request as I am now feeling very very sick indeed.

now by all means I’m not slating this movie I just didn’t like the gore at all, story wise it’s good and the acting by the anti heroes are great as well, sadly the gore let’s it down, although shout out to the child actor whose meant to look terrified but instead looks like he’s cracking up with laughter at the sight of his mum getting brutally knocked out by the clown character, so any who final rating…. I give this film a poorly 3/10 The plot is great and the acting is great as well however sadly the gore let’s it down immensely anyway guys until next time catch ya later 🙂

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Films That Dramatically, Epically Failed In 2017

Posted on by jadedsteelereviews

2017 in my opinion was a great year for movies, we had adaptions, sequels and more reboots than you can shake a bucket of popcorn at, but that doesn’t mean that we’ve had some films that have flopped immensely this year, from dismal summer blockbusters to even more dismal winter openings, 2017 has had its fair share of epic flops, today we look back at just some of those films.

TRANSFORMERS: THE LAST KNIGT

I loved the Transformers films when they came out before the 2010s but since then they have gotten more and more terrible, I had the displeasure of seeing this at the cinema back in the summer this year, Michael Bay really needs to get back in track with making original films like his Armageddon and Bad Boys days, but hey ho he’s probably going through a really bad dry spell, the film lost around 40 million in the US box office but succeeded overseas, it’s a shame because Anthony Hopkins was wasted on this film, such a great actor in such a horrible film.

GEOSTORM

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…. that’s what I have to say nothing else to it, okay you ready for the plot because believe me it’s laughable, you ready here we go… the government have created satellites for one purpose hahahahahaha you won’t believe what for, come closer I’ll tell ya… no seriously come closer to your screen *whispers… they use the satellites to control the weather by sending little pods from space down to earth…. yep oh and guess who saves the day… none other than Scotland’s very own action movie superhero who always saves the day, Gerard Butler…

The film earned an abysmal 13 percent on Rotten Tomatoes, and for good reason to, the film was held back for various reshoots, when Jerry Bruckheimer came aboard, but alas he couldn’t save the film from scathing early reviews by the general public, you would think a film like that would’ve been pulled from release, but no they went ahead with the reshoots, and released it this year in October, the film performed miserably at the box office raking in a small amount of money.

BLADE RUNNER

“But Blade Runner was praised by critics” “it was a box office success” I hear you cry, but just like it’s predecessor it flopped dramatically, lack of marketing for this film was the main cause, plus it’s runtime clocking in at 163 minutes that’s nearly 3 hours, personally I liked it, it followed the original Blade Runner to a T but audiences were mostly at the cinema watching other movies rather than this one, but still, the original Blade Runner fans enjoyed.

POWER RANGERS

I was really looking forward to this early this year and I was so let down by how awful this movie was, Power Rangers was and still is my childhood, and swarms of nostalgia flowed through me during the trailers, it looked epic, however the pacing was terrible they spent so much time getting to know the characters rather than focus on the Power Rangers, they don’t even get in to their uniform until there’s 20 minutes of the film left, the film suffered massive blows nationwide in America and overseas and earned a dismal low rating on Rotten Tomatoes, looks like we won’t be getting the sequel to this bomb any time soon.

THE MUMMY

I love a good Tom Cruise film, however The Mummy was pretty much his worst, the film once again like Power Rangers it earned terrible reviews by critics, the film was supposed to launch a Dark Universe franchise but sadly poor reviews and a dismal box office run made the franchise nothing but an afterthought, so longtime Mummy fans will have to wait a teensy bit longer to see a franchise dawn from this.

GHOSTS IN THE SHELL

Oh boy this was a doozy, based on the critically acclaimed anime of the same name Ghosts In The Shell was surrounded by controversy right from the get go, mainly for the “whitewash” casting, the film starred Scarlett Johansson and earned really embarrassing reviews with critics, anime fans and movie goers started saying things about the casting mainly it’s lack of Japanese stars, since it’s well based off of an anime made in Japan.

MOTHER!

Darren Aronofsky, possibly one of Hollywoods underrated directors in my opinion, his visually stunning film The Fountain and his biblical epic Noah didn’t do well at the box office mainly because people didn’t like the religious themes, Mother! Done exactly the same thing and went all biblical on your ass, sadly a 60% rating on rotten tomatoes and poor box office sales sadly let mother slip in to the rank of box office bomb considering the cast of Jennifer Lawrence and Javier Bardem.

So as you can see there have been some great movies this year and some major flops so with that theblakentorreviews would like to say a massive merry Christmas and here’s to a great 2018 but until next time guys catch ya later 🙂

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Suburbicon: A Confusing Pile Of Rubbish Possibly The Coen Brothers And George Clooney’s Worst Film

Posted on by jadedsteelereviews

I was really looking forward to this movie, I love Matt Damon, he’s one of them actors where you can put him in any role and he will nail it every time, Suburbicon is possibly one of the worst films he has ever done I mean don’t get me wrong, he is great in this film but the film is a big pile of confusing plot holes.

Matt Damon plays a family man with a wife (Julian Moore) and son (Noah Jupe) and his wife’s sister (also played by Julian Moore) when a black family move in next door to them things in this peaceful idyllic town take a turn for the worst, Matt Damon’s home is invaded by two guys who tie up his family and give a dose of good old chloroform, but they accidentally give the wife an overdose and she dies, the sister then quickly becomes the sons guardian and second mum, but as the film goes on she starts to become more like the wife including dying her hair blonde just like the mum.

There’s also a murder mystery plot somewhere but the film is just really confusing to follow, I.e there’s to many things going on at once to follow what’s going on, but nonetheless the acting is awesome Matt Damon is great as is Julianne Moore as the deranged lunatic sister Noah Jupe is great in this as well as the son, the setting is amazing, George Clooney does capture the fifties suburbia really well, it’s just the plot that lets this film down dramatically, final rating 5/10 the acting is great and so is the setting just the plot is a big letdown anyway guys until next time catch ya later 🙂

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Justice League: It’s Good But It’s Not Quite Carling

Posted on by jadedsteelereviews

It’s okay, I myself am a DC fan but I’m more of a Marvel fanboy to be quite honest with you, but nonetheless the film was okay even if you get past the corny CGI fight scenes.

I was quite looking forward to this movie and like Suicide Squad I built it up and built it up, when I went to see it I was severely disappointed, it was such a letdown Justice League is the same, I built it up and when went to see it I was again severely disappointed, the film is long and dull the CGI is terrible and the plot is awful, I love Zach Snyder, go watch Watchmen that’s a great film, but my god this is possibly one of the films that I dislike of his, Batman vs Superman was great sure it had its flaws but it was great.

The acting was great, I forgot to mention that, the guy who plays The Flash was hilarious and the guy who played Aquaman was good as well, I’m still having second thoughts about Ben Affleck and Batman though, I can’t get used to it, no one can ever replace Christian Bale as Batman, but hey ho a new actor comes and goes all the time, I can’t exactly remember the plot because I was that bored, I was more focused on the awful CGI, anyway Justice League, it’s good but it’s not quite Carling if you get my drift, I mean it’s good but not that good I’ll give Justice League a 3/10 it’s okay but not the best, but until next time guys catch ya later 🙂

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Triangle………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

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How……. What……….. what………… Triangle.

I…. I don’t even know where to begin with this film, even now as I type this I’m like what!!?? Huh what just happened. I’m going to try and explain the plot as I go while it’s still fresh in my mind, right so there’s a woman called jess who has an autistic son, now she goes on a yacht trip with a few friends, they encounter a storm and come across a cruise ship. Okay now this is where you are going to get lost so please try and follow okay, okay good.

So we open up on Jess cleaning up and saying to her son who is clearly distressed crying his eyes out, Jess tells him it’s a bad dream and to forget what happened, she then puts a suitcase in to the car and “drives” to the harbour, the air quotes will make sense trust me that’s not a typo. So off she goes to the harbour and boards the yacht, while they get caught in a storm and hear a “distress signal” again air quotes not a typo, so after the storm they come across a cruise ship. Oh did I mention about the doorbell ringing, no? Well the doorbell rings at Jess’s home she answers and no one is there.

They board the boat after seeing someone on board, remember this, oh remember the opening scene as well just pay really good attention, anyway they find no one on board, as they search the boat they come across Jess’s keys, confused they start hearing noises such as footsteps, now a guy called Victor checks out the noises, the rest of the group join in the theatre, Jess hangs back as Victor comes back with blood pouring from his head, angry he tries to strangle Jess, she then kills Victor, after hearing a gunshot she runs to the theatre to see one of the group has been shot, then suddenly a stranger in a burlap mask shoots the reaming group, Jess is still alive and goes on the run, she comes across the burlap person and a fight ensues, Jess wins, only for the burlap stranger to say “they will return and when they do kill them”

All of a sudden we here cries for help and then we meet our characters as they were when their yacht got overturned in the storm… remember when they saw someone on the boat… well that was Jess… you still with me clause let me tell you we haven’t even gotten started yet. So Jess and her gang from the yacht board the boat again, Jess who… see I can’t even explain it in words, it’s so confusing. Basically Victor was injured by Jess, that Jess was the one whose keys were found, there’s thing thing about a loop, and to end it Jess must kill the people who we see die in the first half.

Now she ends up completing the loop and turns out she was the one who was in the burlap sack, she falls over board and wakes up ashore on a beach, she runs home to her son, but wait it turns out that we are back in the opening scene… are still with me here!!!!! My god please let me know if you are still following me… anyway Jess goes and kills the Jess we saw in the opening scene, it turns out that Jess is the one who said to her son it’s just a bad dream…. thus leading to her dropping the suitcase of previous Jess’s body in to her car, now she drives with her son in the car, while driving they hit a seagull, trust me the seagull is pivotal at this moment!! Just bear with me people I’m trying!!! Jess dumps the seagull over in to the sand thus we see a whole dead pile of seagulls indicating that Jess is still in a loop, anyway off they go then they have a crash both Jess and her son die, then we see yet another Jess!!!!!!!!! who says to a cab driver drop me off at the harbour, to which we see the very start of the movie where Jess boards the boat!!!!!

*out of breath breathing…. my god.

This film… oh god this film was…. was…. so confusing, it makes inception look like a walk in the park… oh boy… please comment if this confused you, final rating 10/10 it’s amazing it’s confusing, it’s a wild ride let me tell you, anyway guys until next time catch ya later 🙂

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Flatliners…. Just Why

Posted on by jadedsteelereviews

There are some remakes that are destined to be remade, and then there are some that bestow that old age saying and I quote “don’t fix what isn’t broken” Flatliners falls in to is category, sure the original which was released way back in the early 90s was okay at best but this is still one film that should never ever be remade like ever.

Flatliners follows the story of college grad students who undertake an experiment, which is basically to die experience the afterlife and then be bought back to life only for them to start hallucinating and seeing things. Now sounds interesting, the nineties version is fantastic regarding the story, pacing and visuals, this 2017 remake looks cheesy, tacky and just really really bad visually, trust me read my Dark Tower review and you will see that I hated that movie, this movie, oh boy hate isn’t even the word to describe this movie, it was garbage absolute garbage, the pacing seemed fast and the visuals were god awfully terrible the acting was…. pardon my potty mouth but SHIT!!!!!

This is only a short review because there is nothing else to say about this movie don’t waste your money and go see Blade Runner (which far superior than this pile of horseshit) Final rating 0/10 it’s awful anyway guys I’ll catch ya later 🙂

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Films With Amazing Soundtracks

Posted on by jadedsteelereviews

Hey you know what I haven’t done in ages a good old top ten list, two years ago was the last top 10 list I had done so I thought it’s about time I’d do another one, this time I thought I’d countdown the films that are really good but the soundtracks are even better, and to kick of this list let’s start with a review I done six days ago.

10. IT (2017)

I loved this film, this is my number one film of 2017 the scares are great as are the cast, but the soundtrack is brilliant, we have songs from The Jam all the way to INXS even The Cure and The Cult make an appearance, trust me this is a soundtrack for all you 80s lovers out there and even a good old nostalgic trip for people who lived and were bought up in the 80s, trust me this is a soundtrack worth listening too.

9. The Conjuring 2: The Enfield Haunting

Another horror entry to the list, I was surprised to hear some great songs during this film, during the 1 hour runtime we hear songs like I Started A Joke from the Bee Gees, then we hear a little bit of Elvis with Can’t Help Falling In Love With You, all the way up to The Clash’s London Calling, a surprisingly brilliant soundtrack once again, this is one that is really worth listening too.

8. Pete’s Dragon (2016)

Oh this was a great film it was sad, funny and above all it had a great soundtrack, we hear songs from Leonard Cohen and The Lumineers, trust me this is another great soundtrack, best of all these are all on Spotify, no seriously there’s a whole album with the songs used in this film, my personal favourite song is So Long Marianne by Leonard Cohen, once again another great soundtrack.

7. Casino

“Why the hell is Casino way down near the bottom that had a great soundtrack” I hear you screaming at me, nonetheless it’s a great film all together think Goodfellas if it were set in Vegas, the soundtrack features The Rolling Stones and many more amazing tracks, but the best song on the list has to be House Of The Rising Sun by The Animals, the scene that accompanies it is amazing and quite possibly one of the best scenes in the film, that and how they catch the cheat in one of the casinos, the film is a treat to watch and one of the best soundtracks ever to a film.

6. Reservoir Dogs

Tarantino’s outstanding debut film is truly an iconic piece of cinema and a film that truly has stood the test of time, the film itself is great but the soundtrack is fantastic, from the opening Little Green Bag, all the way up to the infamous ear scene stuck In The Middle With You, now if you haven’t seen this film then….. where the hell have you been do yourself a favour and go watch this movie it’s a great double crossing gangster heist movie.

5. Stand By Me

This oh my god is one of my favourite films of all time, I have seen it so many times, this is one of the only films I can say I can relate to, and the final line in this flick is something to be remembered “friends come in and out of our lives like busboys in restaurants” that quote is so true to this day because it’s right, we say hi to new friends and say bye to the old ones I haven’t spoken to any of my friends I had when I was twelve apart from one who is now quite possibly one of my best friends to this day, any way without getting to deep, the soundtrack is amazing I love 50s music a lot and this film has a lot of that, but the song that stands out during this is of course Stand By Me by Ben E. King.

4. Schindler’s List

Emotionally draining yet an important film to watch as it highlights the tragic and brutal things that happened during the Second World War the music in this is haunting and just plain sad, from the time we meet the girl in the red coat, to the emotional ending, this scene in particular is where the floodgates open from the haunting violin of Ishtak Perlman to the eerie piano as the credits roll.

3. Kingsman: The Secret Service

An epic spy film with one of the most impressive soundtracks ever, I’ve even had a look at the soundtrack for the sequel that looks impressive too, but the best scene in this one has to be the infamous church scene, where Colin Firth’s character battles it out to Lynrd Skynrd’s Free Bird, trust me that’s not a scene to be missed.

2. Pulp Fiction

Another classic from Tarantino this however has one of the most amazing songs featured in it, including You Never Can Tell by the legendary Chuck Berry, Urge Overkill’s Girl You’ll Be A Woman Soon and the classic opening titles scene, trust me this is one of the best soundtracks to a film you will ever hear.

1. Goodfellas

The number one slot goes to Scorsese’s epic crime story Goodfella, this is my number one favourite film of all time and one I can watch over and over again this is an absolute classic film, but the soundtrack is the most impressive ever best of all is it goes through the years from the 50s all the way up till the 80s, trust me look for the soundtrack on Spotify and thank me later.

And that’s it, a countdown of the top ten films with amazing soundtracks but until next time guys catch ya later 🙂

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Tin Star… And Breathe!!!

Posted on by jadedsteelereviews

A TV show has to have one thing for me, an amazing gripping opener, Tin Star does exactly that it’s opening act is enough for you to question what the hell!! episode one is by far an amazing series opener and does exactly what it says on the tin (if you pardon the pun)

Tin Star stars Tim Roth and Christina Hendricks, oh trust me her character you will start to hate in the first episode alone, she plays a nasty oil tycoon type person who plans to open up and oil plant, bringing in migrant workers and crime in the process, along with a shady head of security played really eerily by Christoper Heyerdahl, Tim Roth plays a small town police chief who has just moved in to a small town in Canada, trust me the scenery is amazing Canada is an amazing if not a really beautiful country, and is number one on the countries I want to go and visit list.

Tin Star opens with a cliffhanger and ends on that same cliffhanger we saw at the start of the show, it’s basically Tim Roth in a car with his family which is his eldest teenage daughter and five year old son and wife, while filling up gas the son needs the bathroom, all of a sudden a masked person shoots at Tim Roth’s character, we see a massive splash of blood cover the daughter, and your left wondering “who shot who” I love TV shows like this because it keeps you guessing and puts you in a game of guesses for ten episodes and then bam! It drops the almighty twist and it’s never who you expect it to be, see a show called Broadchurch and thank me later that show was phenomenal.

Tin Star from me gets a solid 10/10 the pacing is solid as is the acting by Tim Roth and Christina Hendricks as well I really cannot wait to binge watch these any time soon, and to be quite honest this is now one of my favourite to shows up there with Stranger Things and American Horror Story, but anyway guys until next time catch ya later.

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Drive, A Throwback Like No Other

Posted on by jadedsteelereviews

Indie films are amazing, I remember the first indie film I watched was a Wes Anderson movie, Drive is nothing like a Wes Anderson movie but it’s still an amazing film, from the soundtrack to the amazing cinematography drive is probably one of the best films to come out of 2011.

Drive stars Ryan Gosling as a getaway driver and stunt driver who ends up falling for this girl, now I’m gonna stop and say this is not a chick flick no… this is an action packed car chasing with chick flick elements thrown in, now I’m gonna be honest this film is slow and there’s not a lot of dialogue but don’t let that throw you off because the car chases are like nothing you have ever seen, especially the opening scene, think Baby Driver only with an 80s synth track going along with it, theres another thing, soundtrack is amazing it’s like a good old 80s thriller and loved what the director has done with this film.

Now let’s talk about the acting, Ryan Gosling is fantastic in this and so is Bryan Cranston as well speaking of which I cannot wait for Blade Runner 2049 to come out which also stars Ryan Gosling and Harrison Ford reprising his role as Deckard, but that’s a review for another day, now where was I, oh yeah drive is a fantastic movie and will definitely watch again, it’s action packed with an amazing storyline, action and stunts as well, trust me the getaway scenes are just something else.

Final rating 10/10 it’s an amazing film to come out of the 2010s, have you seen drive? let me know what you thought of it, did you like it or did you hate it? But until next time guys catch ya later.

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American Made An Unbelievable True Story

Posted on by jadedsteelereviews

I love a film based on a true story whether it be a horror or based on someone I love them, American Made is one of those films where you have to do a double take scratch your head and say “no way this can’t be true” so let’s start off with telling the story of who this is based of off.

Barry Seal is a normal pilot who is hired by the C.I.A to take pictures of rebel bases in South America, there he meets ruthless Colombian drug lord Pablo Escobar he then becomes a drug runner for the Medellin Cartel dropping off cocaine in the swamplands of Louisiana, he then starts working for the D.E.A… so to recap on things so far, this guy was working for three people the good guys the C.I.A the bad guys the Medellin Cartel and the D.E.A not to mention he was wanted by them also, what’s more unbelievable is the fact that he kept on getting arrested and after court cases after court cases was let off Scott free.

So I’m assuming you’ve kept up if you have good if you haven’t… well go see the film, the movie is action packed, there’s comedy in it as well, it’s a fun wtf film and it will leave you thinking how on earth did he get away with it so many times, like seriously Seal was arrested five maybe ten times and kept on getting let off free, every time he got arrested I thought okay he’s surly gotta go to prison now, and every time the judge said “nope your free to go” I was shocked and scratching my head.

Do yourself a favour and go see this film it’s brilliant Tome Cruise is amazing in this film as is Domnhall Gleeson who plays Schaefer the C.I.A agent who hires Barry at the start of the film, final rating 10/10 it’s funny, it’s unbelievable in some places but all in all it’s a great movie all together but until next time guys catch ya later

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