Horror, movies

Weapons: Zach Creggers Does It Again!

I went in totally blind to weapons… I saw it late Monday night at 8:30, prime time to watch a horror in my opinion… anyway I knew the gist of the plot, 17 kids from the same class go missing except one kid (more on him later)

The film stars Julia Garner as Justine Gandy, the teacher whose class of kids has gone missing, Josh Brolin as Archer Graff whose son Matthew is one of the missing students, Alden Ehrenreich as Paul, and Cary Christopher as Alex Lilly, the only kid who seemingly didn’t go missing.

Told in a vignette style resembling Kurosawa’s Rashomon, we flick between Justine, Archer, Paul and Alex’s POV of events…

So the whole plot revolves around this, at exactly 2:17 am on the dot, 17 kids from Justine’s class at Maybrooke Elementary woke up, got out of bed, went downstairs, opened the their front door… and left, and they never came back.

That’s the opening narration from an unnamed student at Maybrooke, we then cut to Justine’s POV… now she’s been blamed by the parents of the missing kids, we hear Archer off screen go why her, why only her classroom.

Now I am going to stop right there and venture no more in to the plot… because like Barbarian, you need to go in blind! Completely and utterly blind, do not read any spoilers… because it’s that kind of movie, just sit down and watch it.

Now obviously Julia Garner and Josh Brolin are brilliant actors, I first saw Julia Garner in the Netflix series Ozark and thought to myself “oh damn, she’s good” from then she is definitely my favourite actress working today.

She does a bang up job playing Justine, you really feel for her character here because like the parents she has no idea what’s happening either, and she’s now the centre of this witch hunt, everyone is blaming her for the disappearances.

Josh Brolin as well does a great job here playing Archer Graff, his son Matthew Graff is one of the missing kids, he’s become so disillusioned by the police and is very much cynical about whether the truth about the disappearances will ever come to light.

There’s a scene where he has a nightmare, he sees a AR-15 rise above his his house with the number 217… many saw this as an allegory for school shootings and maybe that was where the film was headed.

But classic Creggers fashion it almost feels like he’s winking at us saying “oh you thought that? Aww, nah I just put that in there for shits and giggles, to throw you off the scent”

But enough about the adult leads.

Let me introduce to you Cary Christopher as Alex Lilly, the only kid not to go missing from his class.

I rarely say this about child actors but damn! This kid is good I mean really good… he is definitely one to watch in the near future, he’s natural… he’s grounded… he carries some of the movies most heaviest moments but he is able to hold his own, there are some scenes you just wanna reach in and say “it’s okay kiddo it’s okay”

His performance for me resembles a young Haley Joel Osment from Sixth Sense, what a performance that was.

There is a small performance from 80s movie star Amy Madigan who plays Auntie Gladys… can’t say to much about her character (spoilers aplenty lurk everywhere in this film) but I can say this… I won’t be going round hers for Halloween this year

Now I did wonder why this film was rated 18… it’s psychological, there’s a few jump scares here and there but half the time I was thinking “why is it an 18?” And then it hits you and then your sat there like “yeah… that tracks” there’s one graphic part where someone head butts another person to death… it’s graphic but, damn it certainly shocks you.

Weapons is by far the best horror film of the year by a clear mile, it’s up there with Bring Her Back and Presence (which I will be reviewing very soon, so keep an eye out!)

It’s spooky, it’s a brilliant slow burn, it’s a brilliant film all round, but please… do not google what happens! Go in blind!

I give Weapons a 9/10! Bold statement but it’s better than Barbarian!

As always guys… catch ya later 🙂

movies, Pop Culture

Move Over Skibidi Toilet… We’re Getting A Backrooms Movie!

Yes… you heard that right, again really wish I was making that up… but I’m not, it’s real… oh so real.

You may remember a while back when I made a post saying that Michael Bay is making a Skibidi Toilet movie, and that this whole new generation of kids are a different breed, and I’m actually really terrified of them?

They run around saying “bro you got zero aura points and ugh bruh it’s giving this or it’s giving that” and they mention about their drip, which means their outfit… they’d say “yo bruh your drip is lit! Bro gained 10,000 aura points with that drip!”

So while Michael Bay is turning a sentient toilet with a man that only says “Skibidi dob dob dob” a YouTuber named Kane Parsons is making the Backrooms movie.

For those who don’t know who Kane Parsons is let me tell you!

He’s a YouTuber who posts horror shorts, mostly 90s style grainy found footage of someone in an office block type building, danger lurks around every corner and you get the sense you are being watched or followed.

Well… A24 have kindly asked Kane Parsons to direct a feature length movie about the back rooms… supposedly it’s going to star Chiwetel Ejiofor and Renate Reinsve (from the foreign film The Worst Person In The World) it’s going to be produced by Shawn Levy and James Wan.

I’m intrigued as to how they are going to do this… I’m curious as to how they’re going to make a skibidi toilet movie but there you go.

Back when I was a kid we was hooked on a baby biting his brother’s finger… and a cartoon unicorn named Charlie who was dragged along with two other unicorns on crazy wacky adventures.

We loved it, it was entertainment… and now we have a poorly rendered man in a toilet, oh how times change!

Kids of today will appreciate this movie, but us adults? Utter confusion when this film is released!

Parents of Gen Alpha will be confused too… I’m pretty sure their kids have watched Skibidi toilet or have mentioned going in to a car park and said “oh no we’ve gone in to the Backrooms!” While you guys have looked on and just simply said… “Backrooms? It’s a Tesco car park little Jimmy” little Jimmy will probably follow it up with “what the sigma! Bro loses aura points for that hot take!”

Sometimes I really feel like I need a dictionary with these lot… I’m googling new slang words almost… every… day!

So folks you heard it here! Not only is a Skibidi Toilet movie in the works but we now have a Backrooms movie in the works too! Brace yourselves!

Until next time guys, catch ya later! 🙂