To celebrate the release of seventh son in the UK I thought I review another fantasy film called Dracula Untold, now I was never a fan of fantasy films (I still hate them to this day) my sister wanted to go see this and I thought okay why not hey it can’t be bad can’t it, oh boy was I wrong on so many levels. Dracula untold tells the untold story of Vlad the impaler, this is the guy who Bram Stoker based the infamous Dracula on, now what’s wrong with this film, well for one its short, very very short (about 80 minutes or so) I mean I was kinda disappointed when it ended because I felt like we didn’t get enough backstory on this guy, but nonetheless lets sink our teeth (if you pardon the pun) in to this monstrosity of a film.

So we open up on Vlad’s son Ingelras telling the story of how Vlad became the impaler he is known for today, cut to a few years later and Vlad and his clan are outside a cave, they are visiting an infamous vampire (played by Charles Dance) after some dialogue and some not so scary moments they leave. Back in Vlad’s kingdom they are celebrating Easter until the Turkish arrive and tell Vlad that they demand 1200 boys for their army, but Vlad declines thus sparking another feud with the Turkish, cut to a few days later and Vlad gives up his son to the Turkish (or does he) he then kills some of the Turkish soldiers waiting to take Ingelras away.

Vlad decides to go to the vampire from the start of the film, and this is where he turns in to Count Dracula. After some dialogue and not a lot of things going on (best to go for a bathroom break here) now wee see the Turkish army moving in and what does Vlad do to stop the army from invading, he turns in to thousands upon thousands of bats (to be honest this was the best part of the film) but then his wife is pushed from this really tall building and then bam she dies (spoiler alert) so what does Vlad do well he turns his whole kingdom in to vampires (because why the fuck not) so they attack the Turkish army head on and after an okay battle scene the townspeople turn on Vlad, as one preist takes Ingelras Vlad is left to fend for himself. 

Cut to the present (and I shit you not this was the most cringiest part of the film) Vlad hasn’t aged all of the people in his kingdom are dead (his son included) well at a Viennese market Vlad walks up to a woman and says “how do you do my lady” now this part to me was a commercial for a fragrance, seriously I was waiting for the voice over guy to say “bite, the new fragrance by Vlad” honest to god I was waiting for that, suddenly Charles Dance’s character gets up and says “let the games begin” and it ends there hinting at a possible sequel yay!!! (Insert sarcastic tone here)

And that was Dracula untold, my God did I hate this film I mean it was so atrociously bad I wanted to get bitten by  Vlad himself, I mean the acting is poor the dialogue is awkward and just god awfully cringeworthy, whoever wrote the script must be sacked it was that bad, mind you I’m not suprised since it got a 28% rating on rotten tomatoes, and plus it was directed by a guy who shit commercials for a living…. Oh that explains the really really bad ending the director thought he was making a commercial instead of a film, oh it makes sense now. Anyway what do I give Dracula Untold, well I give it a 2/10 mostly because of the cheesy dialogue and awful acting, so let me know what you thought of Dracula untold as always I would love to hear your opinion on this film, and also are you going to see Seventh Son when it comes out, let me know, until next time catch you later.